Bad Directions
by Dr.Plague1495
Summary: Pezberry AU, written from Santana's POV. Santana Lopez is a rock star, tattoo artist and player. But her world turns upside down when a certain Rachel Berry moves into town.
1. Chapter 1

I

Hello to my readers, this is my first story so bare with me! I got this idea for a pezberry story and I think it can work. Please leave reviews and suggestions, I can add whatever you guys want in the story. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

This was my favorite part of the gigs, seeing all those fine ass chicks getting all hot and bothered while they listen to our great music. It was also at this moment that I chose which girl, or girls, to fuck that night. I was ending my last "god-like" solo when our eyes met.

She was stunning, biggest chocolate brown eyes I´ve ever seen, wavy brown hair that hanged in loose curls and perfect juicy lips. Damn, that´s the first word that came to my head, well I´ve chosen my target.

"Fuck I think we´re getting better every fucking gig we do!" Puck says.

Puck has been my lesbro since I can remember, we have known each other for 11 years. When we were 14 we made a pact, we were going to come to LA and play our music even if we had to leave everything behind. So at 18 we got a car and a few hundred hard earned dollars and got the fuck out of Lima, Ohio. And we never looked back.

"Fuck ya, specially when I gets my solo on! You know all those fine ass chicks out there almost cum when they see what my fingers can do." I brag.

"Ya ya, whatever you say! Don´t you have some pussy huntin to do? Puck rolls his eyes.

That's when I remember that stunning brunette I saw.

"Fuck! Ya I do! See ya later bitches." I say in a hurry.

Quinn and Sam just give me that "you´l never change" look and laugh.

They were brothers, twins actually. I met Quinn at a gay bar, we had horrible sex but became great friends. She plays the bass like a dream, so we were missing only a drum player. Surprise, her fucking twin brother played like a pro. So that was it, we had our band ready. Puck at vocals and base guitar, me at the solo guitar, Quinn at the bass and Sam at the drums. Our band is called Bad Directions and we rule LA.

"I swear her fingers are going to fall of one of this days." Quinn jokes watching me go.

"Along with her tongue too." Says Sam.

I get to the crowd and girls are already pulling at me, usually I would be all up on that but tonight I want someone in particular. I spot her at the bar, so I put my sexy rock star smirk on and make my way over.

"A beer please, and what will you have beautiful?" I tell the bartender and ask her.

"I´ll have a shot of tequila please." She smiles and tells the bartender.

"I like a girl that holds her liquor, make it two shots." I say smiling.

She blushes a bit and thanks me for the drink, I swear she´s a fucking goddess.

"So, are you new in town?" I ask her

"Is it obvious?" She says with a timid smile.

"Not at all! I asked because I would remember a face like yous." I flirt.

"Thanks." She says blushing.

"So, I saw you looking at me when I was on the stage, your house or mine?" I ask not wanting to waste time.

"Hold up, i might be new to LA but I know everything about you! I know that you think you're this big player and shit, and I´m sure as hell not going to be just another girl you fuck." She blurts out.

I just stare at her shocked, a girl has never said those things to me. But shit, the girl´s got some fire in her, me gusta.

"I don't think I am a player, cutie, I am." I say smirking.

"I don't give a fuck really." She says getting up from the stool.

I hold her arm and she turns angrily and stares at me.

"Ok fine maybe I was disrespectful, I apologize. Let's start over, I´m Santana Lopez, what's your name?" I say.

"Rachel Berry." She says not looking at me.

"Nice to meet you Rachel." I say smiling.

"Pleasure is all mine."She says.

"It will be." I say smirking.

"Jeez you don't give up do you?" She says giving me a perfect eye roll.

"Sorry, it's just that you are so sexy and it's distracting. But anyways why did you come to LA?" I ask.

"I don't know, I had enough of NY and all the shit that happens there. So I ,got a job at my friend´s tattoo shop." She says sadly.

"Sweet, so you are a tattoo artist?" I ask interested.

"Yep sure am." She says.

"So am I." I say.

"Seriously? I thought you were a big rock star." She says mocking me

" Ha Ha, ya well I do both. I´m a badass like that." I say with a cocky smile.

"Do you actually get laid with lines like that?" She asks amused.

"Ouch my heart is bleeding." I say faking hurt

"Do you even have one?" She jokes.

"Ok fine let me show you I´m not a total ass hole, c´mon let's get out of here." I say smiling.

"Fine." She says getting up.

Wow that was easier than I thought it would be. You are the boss Santana Lopez! We get to my car, she has a wicked smirk going on, shit I want to fuck right here.

"What?" I ask.

"Of course you have a black Mustang, fits you perfectly." She says smiling.

"I´ll take that as a compliment." I say speeding off.

"It sure is one." She says smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

II

We are driving in a comfortable silence and I swear I´m going to crash this car, I can't take my eyes off those juicy lips of hers. I just want to kiss them, and suck on them, and fucking worship them.

"So where are you taking me" She wakes me from my pervy thoughts.

"Just wait, it will be worth it." I aswer.

"You're not going to kill me and dump my body right?" She ask with a scared voice.

"You're kidding me right? I may kill you with pleasure but that's all" I laugh.

"A girl has to be careful" She says.

We get to a beach that´s just outside the city. I help her get to "my rock", ya I call it my rock, it´s just a big rock by the water. I´ve cried here, I´ve smiled here, I´ve gotten drunk here, I´ve gotten high here, shit I´ve even got laid here, several times actually. Maybe I´ll get lucky this time too. I help her seat down and put a blanket around us.

"Soo why are we here?" She breaks the silence.

"I just really like this place, its peaceful. And I wanted to be alone with you." I say truthfully.

"Ok well we are all alone now." She says looking at me.

"Yep, so let's get to know each other better." I say leaning in.

"Woah hold up, I know a better way to get to know each other." She holds me.

"Really? What way?" I ask rolling my eyes.

"A asking game!" She says clapping her hands excitedly.

All I can do is look at her and think how cute she looks.

"Ok fine, ladies first." I say playing along.

"Humm let me see, are you a lesbian?" She asks.

"Well I thought my Shane haircut and my attitude would give away. But ya total pussy lover over here" I asnwer.

"Well I don't like labels, but I like girls too" She says.

"Good enough for me." I say smiling

"Ok next question, what's you favorite color?" She asks.

"Black. Yours?" I ask.

"Gold, like a shinning star" She says with dreamy eyes.

All I can do is laugh at her cuteness, I swear she's one of a kind.

"Ok, what is your zodiac sing?" She asks.

"Sagittarius, you?" I smirk.

"Leo, the sing of the big stars" She says proud of herself..

"Shit you know we are perfect sexual partners? We have to have sex to make the gods happy." I joke.

"You are so full of shit." She laughs

"Don´t act like you don't dig it." I say.

"I never said that." She says coming closer to me.

"So you do dig it?" I ask.

"Maybe." She says looking at the sky.

"C'mon babe you're not helping here." I say in a low voice.

"Well make a move and you will see." She says looking at my lips.

Shit girl don't need to tell me twice. I lean in and this time she doesn't pull away, win. I softly place my lips on her neck, she lets out the most delicious moan, shit my boxers are ruined. I start sucking on her neck and then kissing it, working on getin my marks on. When I´m satisfied with my work I kiss her lips, so full, so ready. I put my hands on her waist and bring her closer she puts her arms around my neck, I lick her bottom lip asking for access she gives it to me immediately. Our tongues meet and shit, you know all the fireworks bullshit? Well its fucking true, I swear I could cum just from kissing her. I've kissed more girls than I can count, but it never felt like this. We kiss for several minutes and when we separate to get out breath back, she´s the first to break the silence.

"You´re good at that." She says out of breath.

My first though is well duh of course I am, but my second and better one is:

"You are a great inspiration." I say looking deep into her eyes.

She blushes.

"Listen we have to get some rules in to place." She says seriously.

Shit I hate rules. Here we go.

"Ok, talk to me." I say paying attention.

"Rule number one, I may have kissed you but that's all you´re getting tonight. Rule number two, I have a five date rule if you survive until then you get to have sex with me. And the last rule is until I get tired of your ass you can´t see any other chicks ok?" She says like a fucking teacher.

Shit your talking to Santana Fucking Lopez girl, are you out of your mind giving me those rules. But then I look into her eyes and all I can say is…

"Ok."

What the hell just came out of my mouth? Did I really agree with all this rules?

"Good, now take me home sexy." She smiles and gets up.

* * *

I drop her of and head home. At least I got some kisses and her number I think to myself. I get home and text her.

 **"It was great getting to know you."- San"**

 **"Pleasure was all mine right?"- Rachel**

 **"Lol ya it will be honey"- San**

 **"Well if you keep being that cute it sure will be." Rachel**

 **She thinks I´m cute, I've been called a lot of things but cute ain't one of them.**

 **"I just can't help it…"- San**

 **"You are an ass."- Rachel**

 **"Ya I know, but chicks dig it."- San**

 **"Well I don't blame them."- Rachel**

 **"I want to go out with you tomorrow."- San**

 **"I would love that, call me then."- Rachel**

 **"Sure will."- San**

 **"Can´t wait, good night Sanny."- Rachel**

 **She called me Sanny, that gave me a war felling all over.**

 **"Good night beautiful."- San**

Quinn gets out of the bathroom this minute. Ya we live together, since Puck was just disgusting and impossible to live with. He got a new apartment with Sam and Quinn moved in with me.

"Home so early?" She asks.

"Ya, didn´t get any today." I say defeated.

"Shit, the world might end today." She laughs.

"Fuck off! I met an amazing girl though." I say excited to tell her.

"And didn´t fuck her? Do tell." She asks interested.

"Well she´s different." I say blushing. WTF?! I never blush.

"Woah Santana Player Lopez is in luvvv" She says in fake shock.

"Not like that." I roll my eyes.

"Ya sure, sweet cheeks! I know you for how long? That dreamy look you have on your face, its love." She says.

"Whatever, I´m going to bed. Night." I say walking to my room.

"Good night love bird." She waves me off.

I flip her of. Maybe love at first sight does exist. Wait I didn't just think that, no way! I'm Santana Lopez the biggest player in this town, I just need to fuck her that's all. At least that's what I tell myself while I drift off with Rachel in my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! So I posted 2 chapters today and I´m going to post 2 more tomorrow. I hope you guys like where I´m taking the story. Please review and tell me what you would like to see. Thanks for reading! Peace out :)

* * *

III

" _Oh yes san right there don´t stop!" Rachel moans._

 _She is currently straddling me on the couch, I´m kissing her neck working on a mark, yes I like to mark my territory. I leave her neck and kiss those lovely lips, the kiss is rough but passionate. I waste no time slipping my tongue into her mouth and fighting hers for dominance. I slip a hand under her shirt and grab her boob pinching her nipples, she moans, fuck she´s sexy._

" _Fuck me baby!" She pleads._

" _Don´t have to ask me twice." I smirk._

 _I let my hand travel down her body, over her perfect stomach, on her round and hot ass, on the little dip in her navel. Finally my hands make their way under her panties, I tease her running my fingers up and down her folds._

" _So wet for me, so ready." I breathe at her ear._

" _Don´t tease me baby, please!" She moans out._

 _I waste no more time and plunge two fingers into her, we both moan at the contact. I start a steady pace and my thumb make its way to her clit, I circle it and she starts to pant._

" _I´m so close San don´t stop!" She begs._

 _The way she moans my name almost makes me cum right there. I know she´s almost over the edge so I kiss her deeply, she kisses me back with the same passion, then she starts to…. lick my face!? What the hell?_

* * *

I open my eyes and find my pitbull, Satan, licking my face. Jeez it was just a fucking dream. I get Satan out of the bed and reach down to my boxers.

"A very wet dream." I say to myself.

I make my way to the bathroom, I need a fucking bath and change of underwear. I get out of my bath put on black shorts, a cut off Nirvana shirt, slip on my Doc Martens and grab my leather jacket. I look at myself in the mirror, shit I look so fucking good. When I´m ready for work I make my way to the kitchen, Quinn is already there making that perfect bacon of hers.

"Good morning sexy, want some?" She says happily.

Only Quinn can be so fucking happy in the morning. I feel like a zombie until I gets my coffee in me.

"Morning, do you even have to ask?" I say grumpily.

"Jeez, here I am trying to be polite and you act like that." She says faking hurt.

"Sorry, I´m just a little sexually frustrated and I didn't have my coffee yet." I apologize.

"Ohh the hot brunette huh?" She asks.

"She has a name." I complain.

"Woah calm down Don Juan, what's her name?" She asks smiling.

"Rachel Berry." I sigh.

"Humm, you still wanna tap that huh?" Quinn asks.

"Yes I want her, but she has this five date rule." I say playing with my food.

"Fuck, playn hard to get, too bad you don't do that shit." Quinn laughs.

"Well actually, I agreed to wait." I say in a small voice.

"WAIT, HOLD UP! SANTANA LOPEZ IS GOING TO WAIT TO FUCK A GIRL?" She says loudly.

"So what? Ya I am, fuck it." I blush.

"Fuck, I believe in straight girls and fairy's now." She says in disbelief.

"Shut up, I have to go to work." I say finishing my bacon.

"Ok lovebird c ya later." She sings out.

"Ya ya, whatever." I say kissing her cheek.

I make my way to the garage, I fell like having wind in my face today so I get on my Harley. Yes I have a Harley and a Mustang, I get paid like that. I get my jacket and my helmet on and speed off.

* * *

I work at my girl´s Mercedes tattoo shop, it´s called Diva, fits her perfectly. I walk in.

"Hey gurrll." Mercedes says.

"Hey hot stuff, sup?" I kiss her cheek.

"Same old same old, sooo what's that look you´re sporting today?" She asks amused.

"What look?" I ask as I slump in the sofa.

"The I had sex all night look." She wiggles her eyebrows.

"There is no look, it's just my hot face. Besides, that´s not true." I say.

"Hold up you tellin me you went a night without sex?" She asks shocked.

"Ya, so?" I say annoyed.

"Nothing, it's just a big change for you." She laughs.

"I´m just seeing someone and she wants to wait." I blush.

"Wow u in luvee?" Cedes says with a baby voice

"No way!" I throw a pillow at her.

"So do I know this girl?" She asks.

"Nah, she's new in town." I say.

"Well I'm happy for you love, I hope it all works out." Mercedes says smiling.

"Thanks Cedes." I smile too.

"So listen, this friend of mine just came in from New York and I got her a job here. She is a great girl and an amazing artist, today is her first day and I hope you make her feel comfortable." Cedes says in her boss voice.

"Suuuree, I'll make her comfortable alright." I smirk.

"I swear you have no limits!" Cedes laughs.

I was going to say something dirty but stop mid-sentence because Rachel Goddess Berry just made her way into the shop. But, only artists are here at this time! WAIT, OH SHIT.


	4. Chapter 4

IV

"Cedessss, it's been to long!" Rachel says in her perfect voice.

"Hey gurlll, too long!" Mercedes hugs her.

"San this is Rachel, my friend I told you about from NY." Cedes says looking at me know.

"No shit, we already met Cedes." I say smirking.

I can see Rachel jump when she hears my low and raspy voice. She looks at me and is shocked, I smirk at her.

"Where the hell did you meet?" Cedes asks.

"In the bar my band played at last night. Oh and Rachel, you should put some makeup on that neck." I say still looking at Rachel.

Mercedes follows my line of vision and sees the huge hickey on Rachel´s neck.

"Oh lord." Cedes rolls her eyes.

Rachel blushes and opens her mouth in shock.

"Ya we met at a bar last night." Rachel says quickly.

"Wait hold up, San is this the girl you were talking telling me about, that you…" Cedes asks.

"Shut up wheezy." I cut her mid-sentence.

"Oh good lord this is too good to be true. But sadly some of us are professionals so I have to go get my shop in order." She smirks and leaves.

Rachel and I stare at the floor in awkward silence for a while. I breathe out and decide to break it.

"Sooo looks like we´re coworkers huh?" I say.

"Ya." She says still not looking at me.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"I don't like to mix work with my personal life." She says sadly.

Shit. Well what do I say now? I can't just let her get away with that.

"Well sometimes it's worth it, and I promise I will keep it professional in here." I say.

She looks up at me and smiles. She seats next to me in the couch.

"You´re right, and you know what, I think you´re worth it." She says and gives me a peck on the lips.

Oh lord those lips, I wish I could kiss them forever.

"Hey just a peck?" I ask pouting as she breaks the kiss.

"Yep, we are keeping it professional right? By the way you´re taking me out on a date today, you promised." She calls over her neck as she walks to her station.

"Of course I am!" I say as I walk over to my own.

The day goes by quickly, I talk to Rachel a bit but nothing major. I do some great tattoos and I'm feeling really good. At the end of the day everybody´s gone but me and Rachel, Cedes asked me to close the shop tonight.

"Soo where are you taking me?" She asks.

"I´m feeling like some Chinese, you like?" I ask.

"As long as it´s vegan I´m in." She says seriously.

"I´m sure they have some horse food there." I laugh.

"You know what, you are an idiot! Being a vegan is responsible and I take it very seriously!" She says angry.

"Ok ok, I'm sorry." I say.

"Let´s go then." She says leaving the shop.

I close everything up and we walk to the parking lot. I get on my bike and Rachel puts on a fit.

"You have to be kidding me! I´m not fucking riding that!" She complains.

"Why not? It´s a sick bike!" I say amused.

"I don´t care! You know how many people die in bikes?" She continues.

"Not really, don't care." I sigh.

"Many!" She stomps her foot.

She looks so cute mad.

"Listen I promise I won't speed plus I´m a really good driver, so just trust me. I even got a spare helmet for you." I say passing her the helmet.

"Ok fine, but I swear that if we die I will kill you!" She complains as she gets on the bike.

"That doesn't make any sense." I laugh.

"Shut up and drive!" She says annoyed.

"Ok Rihanna, off we go. Hold on!" I say and speed off.

Rachel let's out little screams every time I speed up the bike. She holds my waist like her life depends on it, and it feels so good. I could get used to this. We get to my boy's Mike chinese restaurant, it's the best in town.

"Sup Asian king!" I say while I hug Mike.

"Workin my ass off as always San. You?" Mike says.

"You know same old same old, getting paid n´ getin laid." I smirk.

Rachel and Mike roll their eyes at the same time.

"So who´s the pretty lady?" Mike asks.

"I´m Rachel, nice to meet you." Rachel says.

"Pleasure is all mine, so are you guys dating?." Mike says.

"Yep, sure are." I smile.

"Well that's a first for you." Mike jokes.

Rachel gets a mad look going on. Way to go Mike! We get a table and order. The mood is kind of awkward so I decide to say something

"So how did you like the shop?" I ask.

"It´s fine." Rachel bluntly says.

"Did you get a lot of clients today?" I try again.

"Yes." She says not looking at me.

Shit, she's really mad.

"Why are you mad baby?" I ask trying to hold her hand.

"First, not your baby! Second, everywhere we go I just see you being called the big player! I don't like it, it makes me feel like a piece of meat that you parade around and show your friends." She rants angrily and pulls her hand away.

"Hey, calm down. Yes I am a player and yes I have a reputation that I live up to. But something changed when I met you yesterday, I would have never accepted those rules with another girl. You have something that is different, and I want to know what. I want to try to be with you." I say truthfully.

"Why though?" She asks now looking at me.

"Why what?" I ask back.

"Why are you such a player?" She asks.

My heart sinks at that point. I don't talk about it.

"When I was in high school I had a girlfriend, her name was Brittany. I was so in love with her and she was everything to me. I wanted to make her my wife someday. One day I went to her place and she was riding some guy. I swear I never felt anything like it, it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. So I made a promise to myself that from that day on it would be just sex." I tell her.

I lied and I hate it. Well I didn't lie, I just told her a small version of it. I can't tell her everything, not now… Not ever actually, only Puck could know. Rachel is good, she doesn't need to know about my fucked up life and the horrible people I ran away from.

"I´m so sorry, I had no idea." She apologizes and holds my hand.

"It´s fine, it was a long time ago anyway." I say wanting to end the subject.

"I will never do that to you, ever." She says looking deep into my eyes.

I shouldn't believe her, that could only end up in me getting hurt again. I can't handle more pain in my life. But I believe her anyway and my heart fells so warm right now. I kiss her hands. Our food arrives and we eat in comfortable silence having small talk here and there.

"So did you have fun?" I ask her when we get to her house.

"Yes, I had a great time." She smiles.

"Me too, so are you free tomorrow?" I ask.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, let´s go skating?" She asks cheerfully.

"Ya sure, but I want to go surfing after. I hate being sweaty for a long time." I scrunch up my face.

"I can´t surf." She says nervously.

"Don't worry, I´m a good teacher." I smirk.

She smiles and leans in, I capture her bottom lip between my lips and she let's out a cute squeak. I deepen the kiss and it feels like I'm floating. We kiss for a long time.

"I should go." She says breaking the kiss.

"Really?" I say pouting.

"Ya I should rest and you too! You´re teaching me how to surf tomorrow!" She says excitedly.

"Ok fine, but I want one more kiss." I smile.

She gives me a peck, wishes me good night and goes inside. I watch as she goes in and get on my bike.

As I speed off into the night I can only think about how amazing this girl is, should I give love another chance? Should I give life another chance? I live so freely and recklessly because I don't really care about anything after the childhood and teen years I had. I got away from it all but it still haunts me.

I push the bad thoughts aside and think about the kisses we shared, maybe I can love and be happy after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter! Looks like Santana's past is back to haunt her. Keep those reviews and suggestions coming. Thanks for reading. ;)

* * *

V

I wake up to an annoying sound. It´s Sunday, I´m sure I didn't have an alarm set for today. Why would I wake up early on a fucking Sunday? Then I remember. SHIT RACHEL! I forgot to set the alarm. I check my phone and see 10 missed calls and many angry texts.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I mutter to myself.

I call Rachel, and she answers quickly.

"Santana did you forget our date?" She asks madly.

"Baby I swear I didn't, but I did forget to set the alarm" I apologize.

"How is that not forgetting?! I'm so mad right now!" She almost screams.

"Listen I'll be at your place in 20 minutes, I promise." I say in a soft voice.

"Ok fine, just hurry up." She says and hangs up.

"I'm sorry babe." I say anyway.

I hurry up to get ready. I put one the first shorts I can find and a tank top, grab my skateboard and my surfboard and run down the stairs. I stop to give Satan his food and to grab a cold slice of pizza. Quinn is nowhere to be found, she's probably hungover. I get everything in my car and speed off.

* * *

I must have gotten 10 tickets from all the speeding I did. I get to Rachel's place and call her. She says she's coming and I lean in my car waiting. She comes out with a bag and an angry face.

"Baby I really am sorry!" I start.

"You know what? I want to be so mad at you right now. But you look so hot that I can´t." She says pulling me in for a kiss.

Well that went better than planned. I smile as she breaks the kiss.

"Well good morning to you too." I smirk at her.

"Let´s go sexy, we are already late" She says and gets in my car.

* * *

I drive us to Venice Beach. Rachel opens her bag and takes out roller skates, those fucking 80's roller skates.

"What the hell is that?" I ask as I look at them.

"Roller skates! I thought we were skating?" She asks confused.

"Well ya, that's what the skateboard is for." I say.

"No way I'm skate boarding! It's dangerous!" She says shaking her head.

"Oh lord, ok babe." I laugh.

Rachel rolls her eyes and puts her skates on. She looks like a dork, a very cute dork.

"Ok roller girl of we go" I say as I gain speed in my skateboard.

"Wait up!" She calls out.

We skate for a long time, sometimes holding hands, I'm having so much fun. I don't remember the last time I was this happy, shit maybe I was never this happy. We go back to my car to get my surfboard. We make our way to the beach. I start to take my clothes off.

"Oh lord." Rachel whispers.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh nothing!" She blushes and stares at my abs.

"Like what you see?" I ask amused.

"I do, a lot. Wait I didn't mean to say that loud, shit." She hides her face in her hands.

I laugh and put my surfing suit on.

"You have a lot of tattoos!" She says.

"Ya well I love them, I like to think that our bodies are art galleries." I say.

What I don't tell her is that many of my tattoos are there for a reason, to hide all the scars I have.

"Take off your clothes." I tell her.

"What?" She blushes.

"Well are you getting in the water dressed?" I ask amused.

"No of course not. I just got a little horny from hearing you say that." She admits.

I just smirk at her and give her a kiss. She takes of her shirt and Jesus, her breasts are amazing. She has a few tattoos, but nothing compared to me. She takes her shorts off, and fuck me that ass is something else. I can't control myself so I give it a grab.

"Santana!" She screams.

"Sorry, your ass is just asking to be touched." I say with dark eyes.

"Keep it in your pants! We are still in the second date for god sakes!" She says but I can see the lust in her eyes.

"Whatever, don't act like you didn't like it. Here put this on." I say giving her an oversized t-shirt."

"What is this for? It´s ugly." She complains.

"Well unless you want to leave your belly's skin on the board you put that on. This is not a fashion show." I say a bit annoyed.

"Ok whatever. " She says and puts the t-shirt on.

We make our way to the beach. I get in the water but Rachel doesn't follow.

"Rachel what are you doing?" I ask her as she stands in the sand.

"The water is to cold!" She cries.

Ok that's it, she needs to grow a pair. I splash her with water and drag her in.

"Santana I am going to kill you. I hate you." She says angrily.

"No you don't. C'mon get on the board." I say and I help her up.

She's a disaster at surfing. After 2 hours she manages to stay up for 10 minutes tops. She says she is tired and goes sit on the sand. I stay and catch some waves. I get out of the sea and go seat next to her. The sun is already setting, and I´m hungry. I get us hot dogs and we eat. After we are finished I get out my weed and start to roll a blunt.

"Is that what I think it is?" She asks shocked.

"If you think it´s weed than yes." I say as I roll the perfect blunt.

"I can't believe you are a junkie." She complains.

"Oh please! I like to smoke ok? Weed, cigarettes and cigars." I say as I lit it up and take a long drag.

"Great, so you are really focused on getting that lung cancer!" She says angrily.

"Rachel people die all the time, really healthy people. So ya I don't care, I do everything I like. I'm going to die anyway." I say looking at the ocean.

Rachel stares at me and seems to be deep in though.

"Can I… Can I try it?" She mumbles.

I stare at her a little shocked.

"Sure, just take a drag slowly or it will burn your lungs." I say and pass her the joint.

She holds it and stares for a moment, then she takes it to her lips and takes a long drag. Too long, she immediately starts to cough and her eyes water.

"That's horrible!" She says mid cough.

"You did it wrong. Here watch me." I laugh and take a drag.

She tries again and this time gets it right, holding the smoke for some time. She laughs it out, shit she's already high. We finish the joint and she keeps laughing.

"Babe are you high?" I ask amused.

"I think so, your face is so pretty and soft." She says petting me like a dog.

I can only laugh at that. She is so cute.

"We should get going its late and we have to be at work early tomorrow." I sigh frustrated.

"But I don't want to!" She complains like a child.

"I know honey, but we have too. You need to rest and sober up." I say and help her up.

* * *

I drive us to her house. She talks about random things and laughs the entire way. We get to her house and I park outside.

"Here we are." I say not wanting her to leave.

She doesn't say anything. She looks at me for a moment and in the next she straddles me. She starts to kiss me deeply, and I respond. Our tongues start a delicious battle and I can only moan at the contact, shit I'm so wet already. She takes off my tank top and feels my abs, I do the same to her and start to grab her boobs, they feel perfect in my hands. She moans and starts sucking at my neck. She then cups my pussy through my shorts, I moan loudly. I want to fuck her so bad but she's high right now and she did say 5 dates. I bring her hands up and hold them.

"Baby I want to fuck you so much! But you are not in your right mind, and I want our first time to be elsewhere than in my car." I say holding her cheeks.

She hugs me, then pulls back and looks at me with eyes filled with lust and something else. I want to say love, but it can't be.

"You know what San I was right about you. You are not just the player, you're considerate and respectful. I am so wet right now, but I'm also high. So yes, I will regret it tomorrow, not because I don't want to have sex with you, but because I want it to be special. So thank you for respecting my wishes." She says with soft eyes.

"Hey you don't have to thank me, you deserve to be treated like a princess." I tell her truthfully.

She smiles and we kiss more. She then puts her shirt back on, wishes me good night and goes into her house. I drive back to my place.

* * *

I get into my house and Quinn is at the couch watching reality TV. I slump next to her.

"Hey stranger, where have you been all day?" She asks handing me a beer.

"Thanks! I was with Rachel at the beach, teaching her how to surf. I'm so tired." I sigh.

"Ohhhh that's romantic!" She laughs.

"Shut up, I just like spending time with her." I say timidly.

"I'm just messing with you. I'm glad that you're happy, but I want to meet her asap! I need to see for myself if this girl is all that." She says like a mom.

"Oh please!" I roll my eyes.

"I'm serious, bring her to our gig tomorrow and we can have drinks after." She says.

"Ok, that sounds like a good idea." I agree.

"Oh, before I forget. You got a letter from Lima, Ohio." She says and hands me an envelope.

My heart freezes at that. It can't be, how did they find me? No no no!

"Oh." I manage to say and get the letter.

"I didn't know you were from Ohio, you never talk about your life before LA." She says interested.

"Yeah well somethings are worth forgetting. I just don't talk about it." I say sadly.

"I understand, but I'm always here for you. Don't forget that." She says and holds my hand.

"I know honey, thanks for that. I'm going to have a smoke and go to bed. Good night." I say and give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Good night love, sleep well." She says with concerned eyes.

I go outside and pull out my Marlboros, I lit one and take a long drag calming myself down. I finish my smoke and take a long shower. I then sit in my bed with the envelope in front of me. I get it and start to open, but I just can't. I can't face this, not again. I got away, I did! How did they find me? Why now? That's when Rachel comes to my mind, I'm so happy with her. This can't happen now, this can't ruin everything. I get the envelope and put it deep in my drawer.

Satan starts to cry outside my door, so I know he wants to come in. I open it for him and he starts to lick me. He always knows when I'm sad. I sit at the bed and gesture for him to get up.

"Hey boy, I love you so much." I say petting him.

He makes some weird noises like he's actually responding. I turn the lights off and he gets comfortable next to me. I'm just going to forget it, I lie to myself as I go to sleep with a head full of horrible memories.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! So the plot thickens! I want to point out **TW: Mention of rape and violence**. I don't get explicit but it´s there, so if you are uncomfortable skip the first lines that are in italic font. I have I present for the readers in this chapter, so enjoy. Thanks ;)

* * *

VI

 _My eyes burn as tears stream down my face. The pain builds up each time he swings the belt. I can feel the hot blood going down my back._

" _This is what you get, you disgusting bitch!" He screams angrily as he takes another swing._

" _Dad please stop, just stop." I whisper out through the pain._

" _I bet you want my dick right now, don't you? You dirty dyke. I'll teach you what's good." He sneers out._

 _His alcohol-filled breath is in hot in my ear. I hear him open his jeans. I prepare for what is about to happen. My mind goes blank, it´s how I learned to survive this. Ever since I was ten years old._

I wake up sweating, my hands go to my face and I can tell my tears coming down. Shit I must have been crying throughout the whole nightmare. It's been a long time since I last had one. Then I remember the letter. I need to get my mind out of this. I go to my locked drawer, I open it and take out a little bag with white powder in it. I make two lines of cocaine and snort them with a sigh. Satan is looking at me with a stern look, as if he knows what I'm doing. It hits me quickly, and I forget about everything for a while. I know it´s bad for me, but the pain is worse.

I open my window and it´s pouring rain. Great, as I wasn't depressed enough already. I take a long and warm bath. I dress up in a hoodie, jeans and my Doc Martens. I let Satan out and go downstairs to find Quinn in the kitchen making bacon as always.

"Morning." I say with a raspy voice.

"Morning San, I'm fixing you some breakfast." She smiles at me.

"What would I do without you?" I say and kiss her at the cheek.

"Die of hunger." She laughs.

"Haha, so funny." I rolls my eyes and give Satan his food.

"So san, last night I heard you scream… I tried to wake you but the door was locked." Quinn starts.

"Sorry, I had a bad dream." I say quietly.

"It´s fine, you just scared me. I'm here if you want to talk." She says with a smile.

I just nod and smile back at her. We have our breakfast in a comfortable silence. I do the dishes.

"I'm heading off to work. Can you take my guitar to the venue? Since it´s your day off from work?" I as her.

"Sure! I'll see you there, don´t forget to take Rachel." She says with a wink.

"Thanks. I won´t mum. Bye." I laugh and head out.

"Bye asshole."She calls out.

* * *

I drive to the shop. When I get there, Rachel and Cedes are talking loudly. I wait by the door curious about the subject.

"So, I have a question. Is it true?" Cedes asks.

"What is true?" Rachel asks confused.

"You know…San, is she all that like they say she is?" Cedes asks wanting to gossip.

Great, now Rachel is going to go back to thinking I'm just a player.

"I wouldn't know. But she is an amazing kisser I'll tell you that." Rachel says shyly.

"Wait, you and San aren't having sex?" Cedes asks in disbelief.

"No… we are getting to know each other. I asked her to wait, I prefer it that way and she was ok with it." Rachel says.

"Wow, I´m surprised. San must really like you." Cedes says truthfully.

I sure do, I think to myself. I decide that's my queue to enter the room.

"Morning ladies." I say and startle them.

"Heyy San, morning." Cedes says and hugs me.

"Hi babe, morning." Rachel says and pulls me in for a kiss.

"Ok I´m going to get the shop ready to open. When you´re done making out you two might consider working." She says and leaves.

We both laugh, and I rest my head on her shoulder. She fells perfect and warm.

"San is everything ok?" She asks voice full of concern.

"Ya babe, why would you ask that?" I look up at her.

"Nothing, you just have sad eyes." She says holding my cheeks.

"It´s just the rain, I don't like it." I lie.

She kisses me more and then we get up to get our stations ready. I get a couple of tattoos done and have some time off. I go outside to have a smoke. I think about the letter and the bad dreams as I take a drag. I should text Puck, I tell myself.

 **"Hey asshole, I need to talk with you." San**

 **"Oh now you remember your bro, I haven´t heard from you in days. Quinn told me you are seeing some girl every day." Puck**

 **"Yes, her name is Rachel. I really like her Puck, she makes me happy. You know how rare that is, sorry for disappearing." San**

 **"It´s ok San, if she makes you happy that's enough for me. Take her to the gig, I want to meet her. I need to give the bro approval." Puck**

 **"Haha I'll take her. I'm sure you will love her." San**

 **"I´m sure I will. So what did you want to talk about?" Puck**

 **"I got a letter from Lima yesterday. I couldn't get myself to open it." San**

 **"Holy fuck. How did they find you? Did it say who it was from?" Puck**

 **"No that's the weird part, it doesn't have an address, just the town. I'm scared Puck." San**

 **"Don't be San. I'll tell you what, when you are ready to open it we will do it together ok?" Puck**

 **"Ok, that sounds good. I need to get back to work. I love you bro, thanks for making everything better. See you tonight." San**

 **"Love you more San. See ya, and don't worry that pretty head of yours." Puck**

I put my phone in my pocket, put out my cigarettes and head inside. Rachel is at the couch, so I seat beside her. She kisses me.

"You taste like cigarettes. It´s disgusting and hot at the same time." She mumbles.

"You taste like heaven." I smirk.

"Wow ok Shakespeare! So my client and yours just called and moved their tattoo to another day." She rolls her eyes.

"Crap, so I guess I only have work in a couple of hours." I sigh.

"Ya me too, Cedes went home. She was having some period cramps. She asked you to close everything." Rachel says.

"Oh poor Cedes. So we are alone for the whole day, what could we do?" I say in a sexy voice.

"Ohh we can play pool." Rachel says excitedly and gets over to the pool table.

I sigh, not what I had in mind I think to myself.

"Yay!" I say faking excitement.

I get the table ready.

"You ready to be humiliated?" I ask smiling.

"Don't be so sure of yourself San." She smirks.

She was right. I was the one that got humiliated.

"I can't believe this, I never lose." I sigh as she gets the last ball in.

"There is always a first." She smirks at me.

I'm leaning against the table. She comes up to me and starts a kiss. I deepen it quickly and we both moan as our tongues meet. She puts her hands deep in my messy hair and it fells amazing.

"I want you to fuck me." She rasps at my ear.

"What?" I mumble.

"Fuck me San." She says with a lustful voice.

"Are you sure? What about the five dates?" I ask looking at her.

"Fuck the rules, I'm ready. I'm sober and I want you." She says looking deep into my eyes.

Well that's the confirmation I needed. I sit her at the pool table and start to devour her lips. I take off her sweater and she has an amazing lace bra on. I stare at her a bit but she pulls me back and kisses me deeply. I take my own hoody off and once again she devours me with her eyes.

"Your body is amazing." She says as she feels my ab muscles.

I get goosebumps all over from the contact. I can only moan in response and get busy getting the rest of our clothes off. We take each other's naked bodies in, eyes full of lust.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." I rasp at her ear.

I can feel her body quiver at my confession and she gets back to kissing me. I get her fully on the pool table and get myself on top of her. Not the best place to have sex, but it´s very hot. For I moment I think about how Cedes would kill me if she knew about this. I push that though aside when Rachel begs me to touch her moving her hips up.

I waste no time and take a nipple in my mouth, she moans loudly at that. I can feel myself getting wet, this is so hot. I spend some time at her nipples and then go back to her neck. I work on my marks and then go to her mouth. My hand trails down her amazing body, I stop a bit and look at her waiting for some sort of green light. She looks at me with hoody eyes and swollen lips from all the kissing and nods. She looks like a goddess. I get my hands to her pussy and it surprises me how wet she is. I tease her folds and she moans, begging to be fucked. I circle her clit a few times and then enter her with two fingers. She moans loudly and it´s the best sound ever. I keep a steady pace fucking her and go back to kissing those amazing lips. She starts to pant in no time and I can feel her walls quivering around my fingers. I get down between her legs and her smell is amazing. I start to suck her clit and after a minute she cries out and orgasms. Her arousal is all over my hands and fingers, and it tastes amazing.

I look at her as I lick my fingers, not getting enough of the taste.

"Fu…fuck you are amazing. I should tell Cedes that it is true. What did you do to me?" She asks out of breath.

"Just gave you the Lopez treatment." I smirk.

She smiles lazily and the next thing I know she flips us around and is straddling me. Fuck that was hot, but not hotter than felling her wet pussy in my belly.

"Let me show you the Berry treatment than." She says with a sexy voice.

My pussy throbs for her. She adjusts herself and our centers come in contact, we both moan loudly at that. She starts a slow pace making us slide against each other in the most delicious way. I hold her waist and move my hips up to meet her movement. We get on the edge pretty fast, I can feel my orgasm coming. We speed up the pace and I cum hard screaming Rachel´s name. She follows and moans loudly. She slumps against me and we both try to catch our breath.

"I think I love you." I whisper and shock myself.

"What?" She rasps.

"I said I love the Berry treatment." I lie.

She laughs and kisses my neck. What the hell? Did I just tell Rachel that I love her? I couldn't love her, not yet. Or could I? I push the tough aside and concentrate on how amazing our bodies feel against naked and touching.

"Come to my gig today babe, I want to introduce you to my friends." I say softly.

She looks up at me and gives me a big smile.

"I would really love that San." She says truthfully and kisses me.

We kiss lazily for some time and then get up to clean up, since we have clients coming. I feel so happy right now, this day was amazing. I forget all about the letter, Lima and the bad memories. Everything is just Rachel now, and it feels like heaven.


	7. Chapter 7

VII

Rachel and I share knowing glances for the rest of the day. I just can't stop looking at her, I've never felt like this before. We finish our last tattoos and start to close the shop. My phone rings.

"Hey Quinn. Sup?" I answer Quinn´s call

"Hey San so listen, the venue just cancelled on us. Something about a leak because of all the rain." She says with an annoyed voice.

"Fuck. That sucks." I sigh.

"I know, so I invited Sam and Puck over. Get your ass here, oh and bring Rachel." She says excitedly.

"Oh great, I will. I'll be there asap. Bye ass hole." I say.

"Ok, bye bitch." Quinn says and hangs up.

"Babe, our gig got cancelled." I say to Rachel.

"Oh San that sucks." She says holding my hand.

"Yea it does… So, my roommate Quinn invited a couple of my friends over to ours. I would love it if you went with me, and I was thinking what you could sleep over today." I say expectantly.

"Really? I would love that too. We just have to go by my place so I can grab a change of clothes and my toothbrush." She says with a big smile.

"Sure! Let´s go then." I say and close the shop.

* * *

We stop at her place and I wait for her at my car. I get my phone to pass time, I have a missed call. Strange, I don´t know this number. That's when it hits me, it´s not a LA number. It has Lima's area code. Fuck! How did they find me, this can´t be happening.

"All set baby!" Rachel says as she enters my car.

I keep looking at my phone and it´s as if I forgot to talk.

"San are you ok?" Rachel says, voice full of concern.

"Yes… I'm fine, let's get going." I finely say.

"Are you sure? You are really pale, as if you've just seen a ghost." She says.

"Ya I am, I just… Forgot to pay a bill and the bank gave me a huge fine. Fucking capitalist's right?" I force a laugh.

"If you say so. And yes bank fines are always so expensive, that's why I keep a tidy schedule of bill dates." She says as if she's teaching me.

I just nod and drive us home, my head full of fear and concern. We get to my house and my three friends are having beers and laughing loudly.

"Hey losers, I'm home." I say as we enter the house.

"San!" They greet me together.

"Soo, guys this goddess is Rachel. Rachel this ass holes are Quinn, Puck and Sam." I introduce them.

"Hey, it's so nice to meet you!" Rachel says with a beaming smile.

They all give Rachel hugs, she is already getting along with everyone. She's the best.

"Babe let me put your stuff in my room. " I say to Rachel.

"Oh thanks honey." She says giving me her bag.

I make my way to my room. When I close and lock my door I just sit on the floor and cry angry tears. I just want to forget my past but it keeps coming back. Satan comes and licks my face, Quinn has to lock him somewhere when Sam comes over. He just hates him. I pet him and get up. I get my cocaine out and snort a couple of lines. I fell instantly better. I check myself in the mirror and head back downstairs.

"Hey sexy, you want a beer?" I ask Rachel.

"Yes! Thanks babe." She says.

The rest of them ask me for beers too.

"Am I a fucking waitress now? Puck give me a hand here." I say as I enter the kitchen.

I lean against the table waiting for Puck.

"You ok sis?" He asks as he enters the kitchen.

"No. They called me Puck?" I say in a quiet voice.

"Who are they?" He asks.

"Lima, someone from Lima called. I thinks he's coming for me Puck, maybe she's coming for me two." I say and tears start to fall.

"Hey wait up San. You don't know! I might be them, but it might not. We have to open that letter." Puck says as he hugs me.

"I can't do this again Puck. I just can´t. I got away, I deserve a new life." I cry out.

"I know you do San, and you have it. You have a girl that loves you, you have friends that love you, you have a great band and you are an amazing artist. You did it, we did it." He says.

"Yet it will all mean nothing if he comes after me." I say looking at the ground.

"He won't, and if he does I'll kill him myself." He says with anger in his eyes.

"No you won't, I would never let you go to jail because of that monster. If anyone is ending it has to be me." I say.

"You know what it´s not going to happen. He's not getting to you. Let's open that letter right now." Puck says.

"I hope so. No, not today. Not with Rachel here, she doesn't need to get involved. Tomorrow we meet and open it, ok?" I say.

"Ok, it´s a date." Puck says.

"Let's get back with those beers." I say as I get the beers.

"Wait, get your nose clean first. You have cocaine all over it." He says with a disappointed look.

I sigh and clean myself, as he glares at me. We get to the living room and Rachel is laughing loudly.

"What's so funny?" I ask and hand her the beer.

"Thanks babe, so Quinn was telling me about the time you got very drunk and humped a tree." She says with tears in her eyes.

"Fuck you Quinn, at least I hump something." I say rolling my eyes.

"Oh c'mon don't get mad, it's a funny story." Quinn laughs.

"Babe you want to hear a really funny story? Quinn got nervous at a date so she drank a little too much, she came home with the girl and when they were making out she vomited in the girl's mouth and then started to sob." I say.

They all laugh loudly and Quinn rolls her eyes at me.

"Haha really funny, I have a weak stomach that's all." She says blushing.

We drink our beers and talk until it got late. Puck and Sam crashed at the couch because they are to drunk to drive. Quinn went to bed and I went to my room with Rachel. I open the door and Satan comes running to jump at me.

"Oh my God he´s going to eat my face." Rachel cries out and tries to hide behind me.

"No he´s not, he´s my boy." I laugh.

"Look at the size of that pit bull Santana. It could eat a whole cow in one bite." She says.

"Wow you're not exaggerated are you?" I look at her in disbelief.

"I don´t like big dogs. But whatever, what is his name?" She asks.

"It´s Satan and he is a good boy, here pet him in the head." I say.

"Well that name really helps." She rolls her eyes and pets his head.

Satan is a sucker for hot girls just like his mom, so he is best friends with Rachel in no time.

"He is cute after all." She says as she pets his belly.

"Sure he is. But he´s sleeping in Quinn's room today, I don´t like him staring as we have sex." I say.

"Who said we are having sex?" Rachel asks with a smirk.

"Oh we're not? Ok then." I say.

"No I was joking, I want to have sex. Really bad." She cries out.

"That´s what I tough." I smirk and take Satan to Quinn's room.

I come back and Rachel is naked. God she looks amazing.

"Let´s shower together?" I ask and I take my clothes off.

"No way, do you know how many accidents can happen?" She says like it´s common knowledge.

"Well no… But whatever. I'm first then." I say and get on the shower.

I get out and Rachel goes in. I decide to surprise her, so I get it from the drawer and put it on. I wait for her in the bed. She let´s out a gasp when she sees me.

"Wha-What is that?" She says with wide eyes.

"It´s a strap on babe, and I'm going to fuck you with it." I smirk.

She swallows hard and then I see her eyes darken with lust. She gets on her knees and starts to suck on the dick. Normally I would think this was weird but she makes it so sexy. It's a double strap on, so I moan when the part that's inside me wiggles whit her movement.

"You're so sexy." I husk out.

"The show me how sexy you think I am." She says and pushes me on the bed.

I lay down and she comes on top of me. She starts to adjust herself into the dick and it's the hottest thing I have ever seen. She lets out a long moan when she´s filled and then starts to ride it. I pinch her nipples and thrust into her.

"I want you to fuck me harder San." She says in a sexy voice.

She doesn't have to tell me twice, I flip her over and get her on all fours. I start to tease her folds with the dick.

"You want me to fuck you hard?" I ask slapping her ass.

"Yess!" She moans out.

"Then tell me." I say hot in her ear.

"Fuck me hard San, please." She pleads.

That's all I need, I penetrate her slowly just to tease her more. She moans loudly and begs me to fuck her. I start at a slow rhythm working her up, this feels amazing and her ass looks perfect. I grab her by the hair harshly and she moans my name. I put my mouth in her ear.

"You liked being fucked by me?" I ask as I speed up.

"Yes baby, you're amazing." She whispers.

"That's right, I am amazing." I smirk and suck at her neck.

I continue to fuck her hard and I can feel her whole body quivering.

"I'm going to cum." She moans out.

I flip her over and kiss her deeply. I speed up my rhythm and feel my own orgasm coming. I make my way to her clit and start to rub.

"Cum for me baby." I whisper in her ear.

"SANTANNAAA FUCK!" She creams my name and cums hard.

I follow and continue to fuck her as I ride out my orgasm. I pull out of her and lay by her side out of breath.

"That was…" She breaths out.

"Amazing." I sigh.

"I'm so tired baby, let´s go to sleep." She says and kisses me lazily.

"Let´s beautiful." I smile at her and take the strap on off.

I spoon her from behind and it feels perfect. Her hair and skin smell amazing and I'm falling hard for this girl. I could only wish she were the only thing in my mind right now, all I can think about when I fall asleep is about what's in that letter.


	8. Chapter 8

VIII

I Wake up with hot breath in my face, I open my eyes and Rachel is lying on top of me. She opens those huge chocolate eyes of hers and I lose my breath for a second. I kiss the tip of her nose.

"Morning beautiful." I say.

"Morning baby. Today is Sunday right?" She says still groggy with sleep.

"Nope, it´s Tuesday. Shit, Rachel we have to work today." I say and jump up.

I look at the time, we are so late! Cedes is going to kill us. Rachel goes back to sleep.

"Baby we have to go, look at the time." I wake her.

"But I don't want to, let's just sleep." She mumbles pulling me back to bed.

"We can't! It's already 11 o'clock." I tell her.

"WHAT?! We are so getting fired." She says and jumps out of bed.

That's when I notice that my whole body hurts like hell. I must be from all the rough sex we had last night.

"San, I'm so sore! I can't even walk right." Rachel complains.

"Sorry baby, I'll go softer next time. If it makes you feel better I hurt all over too." I say and peck her lips.

"I think you broke my pussy." She says in a grumpy voice.

"I think that is impossible." I laugh.

She just glares at me and takes her bath. I take the chance to get the letter and put it in my leather jacket. We get ready and I drive us over to work. We enter the studio.

* * *

"SANTANA AND RACHEL, MY OFFICE NOW!" Cedes yells.

"We are fucked." I tell Rachel and we walk to Cede's office.

"Hi girl, are you feeling better?" Rachel says batting her eyelashes.

"Don't try to use your cute face to win me over Rachel Berry." Cedes says rolling her eyes.

"Listen Cedes I we are late today, but we always on time." I say as we take a seat.

"What? It's now that, I don't care what time you get here as long as you tattoo your clients." She says.

"Oh, what is it then?" I ask confused.

Mercedes doesn't answer, instead she turns on the tv and plays a video. It's a surveillance video and it shows the pool table at the studio. Rachel and I start to play pool, Cedes skips forward. We are now fucking on the table. Oh shit.

"Ok Cedes I think we got the idea." I say and she stops the video.

"Well good, because this is ridiculous. I don't care that you too have sex or date, but this is a business place, not a fucking motel." She says angrily.

"I'm so so sorry Cedes. I'm really ashamed." Rachel starts.

"I don't need a speech Berry, just don't do it again. I know Santana can't keep it in her pants but I expected more of you." Cedes cuts her off.

We both agree to never do it again, and promise that to Cedes. We get up to set our stations.

"Wait, take this tape. I never want to see that again." Cedes says with a smirk and hands me the tape.

"Don't act like it didn't turn you on wheezy." I laugh.

"Oh shut up." Cedes glares at me.

We get about our day and I can´t wait to open the damn letter. I go out for a smoke and call puck.

"Hey bro." I say as he answers his phone.

"Hey San, feeling better?" He asks concerned.

"A bit yes. So can we meet at the rock today?" I ask him.

"Sure! Just text me when you get out of work." He says.

"Ok, thanks for this Puck." I say truthfully.

"No problem sis, listen I have to get to work. See you later, love you." He says.

"Love you more bro." I say and hang up.

I head inside and hear a beautiful voice singing some lame Broadway tune. I follow the sound and find Rachel singing and dancing around with her eyes closed. I watch her and it´s like fucking Barbra Streisand is in front of me. She is really good, I'm shocked. She ends the song and I clap slowly.

"Wow, just wow. You should be a singer babe." I tell her.

"Oh San! Didn't see you there. Oh I really shouldn't, I'm not even good." She says blushing.

"Are you kidding me? You are amazing!" I say.

"San no, just don't." She says with sad eyes.

"Oh, ok babe." I say not understanding.

"I have gay fathers." She blurts out.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Sorry, I was just thinking that we don't know anything about each other. So yes, I have two fathers."

"Oh ok, that's cool. Well my mother is dead and well, I don't have a good relationship with my father." I say sadly.

"I'm so sorry San." She says and holds my hand.

"It's ok. I got over it. So where did you grow up and what do your fathers do for a living?" I ask.

"In Manhattan. Well one is a stylist and the other one a surgeon." She says.

"Wow you must be loaded." I say amazed.

"Well yes, we have a lot of money. But they taught me to be humble." She says.

"I can see that. So why did you come to LA?" I smile and ask her.

"I just wanted a change." She mumbles, and I can see she´s lying.

"Oh ok." I say.

"So how about you, where did you grow up?" She asks.

"Lima, Ohio. Shitty town, got away as soon as I was 18." I say wanting to end the subject.

"Oh c'mon there has to be something good about your past." She says.

"The only good thing is to forget it." I say sadly.

"Maybe you should go back, try to reconnect whit your father." Rachel says.

"No, never." I say quietly.

"I bet he's not that bad, maybe you misunderstood him." She says.

"Shut up, you don't get to say that. You don't know anything!" I snap at her and regret it instantly.

"Ok then." She says clearly hurt and walks away.

"Rachel… I'm sorry." I say but she doesn't turn around.

I wrap up my last tattoo and I'm ready to leave. I see Rachel is finished too.

"Hey you want a ride?" I say.

"No." She says without looking at me.

"Listen Rachel, I'm so sorry I snapped at you. It's just… my father is something that I don't talk about." I say with sad eyes.

She seems to read my face to see if I'm lying.

"Ok, I forgive you. But don't snap at me like that again." She says.

"I promise I won't." I say truthfully.

"Take me home then." She says and pecks my lips.

I drive Rachel home and we kiss a bit before she goes inside. I text Puck to meet me at my rock. I drive over and roll myself a blunt as I wait for him, I need to calm down.

* * *

"Started without me?" I hear Puck's voice.

"Hey bro, sorry I'm just so nervous." I say with a broken voice.

"Don't worry, I'm here for you." He says and I pass him the blunt.

"So, you read it to me. I just can't do it myself." I say and pass him the envelope with shaky hands.

"Let's get this over with. Ok?" He says letting out smoke and passing me the blunt.

"Ok." I mumble.

"Ok then, it says… _Santana Lopez, this is Dr. Sue Silvester, coroner, from Lima Municipal Morgue. Last week we picked up a body and we later identified it as your father, Marco Lopez. The law states that we can't do anything without identification from a family member. You have a month to come do that or you can face prosecution from the city of Lima. I should also tell you that a lawyer is looking for you, since you father left you a heritance. Please contact us as soon as possible. Thank you, Dr. Sue Silvester Head of Lima Municipal Morgue_." Puck reads the letter in disbelief.

My father was dead, he was actually dead. I was so happy, but then it hit me. I had to see him, I had to go to Lima or I could get seriously in trouble. Fuck.

"Well I guess I have to go to Lima then." I say like a robot.

"San we can see other options." Puck starts

"NO CAN'T YOU SEE IT? IT´S OVER, HE GOT AWAY WITH IT. I NEVER GOT MY VENGANCE!" I scream, all the pain hitting me at once.

"Hey, he's gone. He will never hurt you again." Puck says and hugs me.

I start sobbing in his arms, and it hurts so much. It physically hurts. Puck doesn't let go and I recover myself eventually.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, I want to get this over with." I say with a decided voice.

"I can go with you." Puck says.

"No bro. I'm so grateful for everything you did for me. You are the only family I have, you always were. I love you so much, but I have to do this alone." I say looking him in the eye.

"I get you San. But if you need me you call me. Don't beat yourself up just to prove that you're strong." He says.

I nod and we hug. We watch the beach for a long time and finish the blunt. We then go to our cars.

"He San, you are my only family too. I love you so much and I won't be able to take it if you get hurt. So please call me if you get twisted thoughts or if you get in trouble." He says holding my hand.

"I promise bro." I say.

"Good girl. Have a safe trip San, and come back soon." He says, tears in his eyes.

We hug and say out final goodbyes. I drive home. I go in and Quinn is in the couch as always.

* * *

"Hey San. You and Rachel really went at it last night huh? Is it always going to be like that? Because I didn't get much sleep." She jokes.

"Quinn shut up, I'm not in the mood." I say seriously.

"Oh c'mon can't take a little joke?" She laughs.

"You know what, I can't! Not now. My horrible father died and I'm happy about it. I'M HAPPY!" I scream at her.

"Whoa calm down San. I'm so sorry." She says with wide eyes.

"No, fuck you. You can't take anything seriously, it's all a joke for you. Well for some of us there is only pain and suffering. So fuck off and leave me alone." I snap and go up to my room.

"San…" I hear her call out, she is obviously crying but I don't look back.

I lock myself in my room and curse myself for snapping at two people that only want to look out for me. He made me a bad person. I hurt good people. I'm just like him. I sob until I'm too tired to think and fall asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello to my lovely readers. So this is a small chapter since I already posted one today. Iit is emocional, so brace yourselfs. I might post the next chapter only in a couple of days, becouse it´s going to be hard to write. But I'll try to be as fast as I can so bare with me. As always thank you so much for readind and please review! ;)

* * *

IX

I wake up with a killer headache. Shit I didn't even change last night. I get up and into the shower. I pack my bag with clothes, money, my hunting knife and drugs. I dress up, grab my leather jacket, check if I have everything and head out of my room. Quinn is not in the kitchen, as always, so I go to her room, I have to apologize.

"Quinn, you there? We need to talk." I say knocking on the door.

"Go away." Quinn says.

"C'mon blondie, just let me talk to you." I say softly.

"Ok fine, it's unlocked." She sighs.

I go inside. Quinn is in bed, her eyes puffy and red like she's been crying. I sit at her bed and start to cry myself.

"I'm so sorry Quinn, I didn't mean any of that. I'm just so angry and terrified." I sob.

"Hey San, don't worry. You weren't yourself." She says with sad eyes.

"No. You don't deserve that treatment. You have always been amazing with me. There are no excuses for what happened." I say looking at her.

"You fucked up, but I forgive you. I really do." She says and holds my hand.

"Thank you so much." I say and kiss her hand.

"So you're going to tell me what happened?" She asks.

"My father abused me, in all the ways he could. I fled when I was 18 and I never looked back. But now he's dead, and I have to go back to sort things out." I sigh.

"That's so horrible San. You could have told me, I could have helped you." She says shocked.

"You helped me Quinn, more than you know. I just don't talk about it, only Puck knows. And now you do too." I say.

"Hey, it's our secret ok? I'm here if you want to talk about it." She says and hugs me.

"Thank you so much Quinn. I have to go now, I'm driving there so it should take three days." I sigh.

"You're driving alone to Ohio? Are you crazy?" She says with wide eyes.

"Well I've always wanted to drive across the country, might as well do it know." I say.

"You are one crazy woman you know that?" Quinn laughs.

"Ya well chicks like it so… Take care of yourself and don't forget to feed Satan. I love you girl. Call me if you need anything." I say and hug her.

"I will don't worry. You be careful San, and if you have any trouble call me. I love you too, have a safe trip." She says and kisses my cheek.

I get up and head to the kitchen. I make myself a big sandwich, going to need the energy for the road. I play with Satan for a bit and then head to the garage. I get my stuff in the car and head out to the studio.

* * *

I get there and Rachel isn't in yet, so I go talk to Cedes.

"Hey sexy." I greet her.

"Hey san, how you doing?" She asks and hugs me.

"I'm fine. Listen I need to take a couple of days off." I say.

"Ok, we talk about that. How many?" She asks.

"I'm thinking at least ten days." I say hoping she will be ok with it.

"Ten days? Why the hell you need ten days?" She asks shocked.

"Well my father died… And I have to go to Ohio to sort everything out." I explain.

"Oh I'm so so sorry! You can take all the time you want." Cedes apologizes.

"Don't be, he was a horrible man. I'm glad he's gone." I sigh.

"Well at least you won't miss him." She laughs.

"That I won't! So, I have to get going. Luv u cedes, call me you need anything. And thanks for the days off." I say and hug her.

"It's no problem. Have a safe trip San. Love you too." She says.

I get out of her office and an angry Rachel Berry is sitting at the couch looking at me.

"So you're going away and you don't even tell me?" She complains.

"Rachel everything happened so fast, I was going to call you right now." I say.

"Ya right, I'm sure you were." She spits.

"Listen let's talk outside please." I say.

She nods and we head to the parking lot.

"Rachel there is a lot you don't know about me. Bad things have happened to me, really bad things. I'm not ready to tell them to you right now, but one day I will. So just trust me." I plead.

"How can I? If you don't even tell me that you're going away." She says.

"I was going to, I swear." I say.

"Why are going? And where?" She asks.

"I'm going to Ohio. My father died so I have to sort things out." I explain.

"I'm so sorry San, oh God." She apologizes.

"Don't be, I'm glad he's dead." I say with no emotion.

"How can you be so horrible?" She asks me.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask in disbelief.

"What could this man have possibly done to you? I love my fathers so much and it bothers me the way you talk about yours." She says angrily.

I can feel the anger building up inside me. It was always like this, no one understood why I hated him so much. He was a great guy to everyone after all, but only I knew that monster.

"Has one of your dads ever fucked you Rachel?" I spit out.

"What?" She breaths out.

"You heard me, because my dad did. He fucked me almost every day. He raped me and beat me for eight years Rachel. Still think I am mean for hating him?" I say harshly.

"Santana, that's horrible. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry." She starts to cry.

"You know what I'm done. Fuck you and your perfect little life. I'm out of here." I say and turn to walk to my car.

"I love you." Rachel cries out and I stop walking.

I want to turn back and say that I love her too, that she is the one for me. But I can't, if I really love her I have to go. I'm broken and Rachel is pure. I have to let her go. So I turn around holding back my tears.

"That's too bad, because I don't do love." I say, voice ice cold.

Rachel just stares at me with pain in her eyes and says nothing. It breaks my heart even more that it already is broken. I turn around and get in my car. I speed off watching her from my rear mirror. She is still standing there watching my car speed away.

That's when I allow my tears to fall, I punch my steering wheel until my knuckles bleed and scream all the pain out. I thought I had made it, I thought I had gotten away from him. But the truth is that he broke me, I would never heal from the injuries. I wanted to kill him, but he killed me. I am dead inside. So I put on my sunglasses and speed into the freeway.


	10. Chapter 10

Hi amazing readers! Loving your reviwes! So this is a huge and emotional chapter! So I wrote this in a different way, the text in bold letters are Santana's memories and the normal text is the present. Hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading. ;)

* * *

X

I have been driving for eleven hours now. I feel like my body will shut down any minute. So I decide to stop at this weird ass gas station to get something to drink. I park my car and enter the shop. I get myself five red bulls and some snacks.

"Sup." I say to the weird guy at the counter.

"Hey sexy." He says with a nasty smile.

"How much?" I ask annoyed.

"Well if you suck my dick it's free." He says grabbing his crotch.

"Fuck off, just tell me how much." I say with a hard voice.

"Listen you bitch I can do whatever I want to you and you will like it." He sneers.

That's when I stab the counter with my hunting knife, only inches away from his hand. He jumps and stares at me with wide eyes.

"How much?" I repeat myself with gritted teeth.

"Eleven." He whispers.

"Thank you very much." I say and throw the money on the counter.

I take out my knife, grab my stuff and go back to my car. I drive for a while and then stop to eat and drink. I drink two read bulls, I don't want to sleep yet. I get back on the road and I start to think about my life.

* * *

 _ **2004 – 9 year old Santana**_

 _ **I stare at my mommy, she´s lying at the tub and she doesn't move. She is bleeding from her wrists, I don't understand what happened.**_

" _ **Mum please wake up." I cry as I shake her body.**_

 _ **She never woke up. Daddy said she was very sick in the head and that she couldn't handle the pain. I think he made her sick, they always had horrible fights.**_

 _ **I cry as I see them lower my mommy's coffin on the ground. I look at my dad and he is not crying, he is almost smiling. I don't understand. I just want my mommy back.**_

 _ **2005 – 10 year old Santana**_

 _ **I am sitting at my room playing with my dolls. Dad is out late again, he´s doing it almost every day now. He comes home angry and with a strange smell on his breath.**_

" _ **Santana! Come here girl." I hear his deep voice scream.**_

 _ **I run down the stairs, he is looking really angry.**_

" _ **Hi little bitch." He says with a mean face.**_

" _ **Daddy what's wrong?" I ask.**_

" _ **It's time for you to become a woman. I need a new bitch since you whore mother killed herself." He sneers out.**_

" _ **I don't understand." I say scared.**_

" _ **You don't have to, just don't scream." He says and grabs me.**_

 _ **That is the first time it happens.**_

I almost sleep at the wheel. Shit I have to stop and get some rest. It´s early in the morning so I should be able to head out at night. I pull up at a motel and get a room. I take a long bath, order some food and finely lie down. I sleep instantly.

* * *

 _ **2009 – 14 year old Santana**_

" _ **That's nasty as fuck." I cough out.**_

" _ **You have to get used to it." Puck laughs and takes a drag from the cigarette.**_

 _ **He have been friends since I was eleven, he is the only friend I have.**_

" _ **Fine, let me try again." I tell him and this time it feels good.**_

" _ **Better huh?" He watches me with amused eyes.**_

" _ **Ya, it calms me down." I say.**_

 _ **I get home and my father calls me. I sigh and walk over to him.**_

" _ **Come here and give your father a kiss." He says and I feel my stomach turn.**_

" _ **Hi." I say and he kisses my cheek.**_

 _ **He punches me the face out of nowhere.**_

" _ **What the fuck?" I scream in pain.**_

" _ **You bitch, have you been smoking?" He sneers.**_

" _ **Why do you care? You are a drunk and a junkie." I say.**_

 _ **As if alcohol wasn't enough he had started doing meth in the last year.**_

" _ **I will not have than in my house." He spits.**_

" _ **Whatever." I say and turn around.**_

 _ **That's when he strikes me in the back and I fall to the floor. I feel blood running down. I turn and he faces me with his belt in his hands.**_

" _ **Please, don't hurt me." I plead.**_

" _ **You will learn to respect me you whore." He says.**_

 _ **He hits me in the face and everything goes black. I wake up and the pain in overwhelming. I get up and I'm covered in blood. I look at the clock, shit I've been out for two hours. I search for him and find him passed out, so I quietly go outside the door. I walk to Puck's house, he lives five minutes from me. I call him and he comes out to meet me.**_

" _ **San what the fuck? Who did this to you?" He says and holds me.**_

" _ **My father." I say in pain.**_

" _ **What?" He asks in disbelief.**_

" _ **He rapes me and beats me." I cry. Puck is the first person I tell.**_

" _ **I'm going to kill him." He says through gritted teeth.**_

" _ **No, please. He will hurt you too." I say and hold him.**_

" _ **You can't let him get away with this." Puck says.**_

" _ **There is nothing I can do. But promise me we will leave this shitty town when we are 18." I plead him.**_

" _ **I promise." Puck says.**_

 _ **Puck's parents aren't much better. His dad is a known dealer that goes in and out of jail and his mother is a junkie. We are best friends because we know what it is like to suffer, we know pain and abandonment. We are each others rock and only family.**_

I wake up sweating, my memories always hunt my dreams. I look at the clock and it's night, I should head out. I pay for the room and ride off. My mind once again goes back to my memories.

* * *

 _ **2010 – 15 year old Santana**_

" _ **Whoa who is that?" I ask Puck as I see this hot blonde girl.**_

" _ **I don't know. She's new I guess." Puck says.**_

" _ **She's fucking hot." I smirk.**_

" _ **Go talk to her San, you need to get laid." Puck laughs.**_

" _ **Hey, I get plenty ok?" I glare at him.**_

" _ **Sure, from your own fingers." He jokes.**_

" _ **Shut up, I'm going to make my move." I say and walk towards the girl.**_

" _ **Go get em Don Juan!" Puck says.**_

" _ **Hi, you're new right?" I ask her.**_

 _ **She looks up at me with the bluest eyes I've ever seen, my heart skips a beat.**_

" _ **Oh hi, yes I am. I'm Brittany, but you can call me Brit." She says with a big smile.**_

" _ **Nice to meet you, I'm Santana but you can call me sexy." I smirk.**_

" _ **You're funny." She laughs.**_

I snap out of my memories and think about Rachel, and how we met. I felt the same as I did when I met Brit, that thing that happens to you heart when you meet someone special. I sigh in sadness when my mind goes back to the last time I saw Rachel. So I go back to remembering Brit.

 _ **2011 – 16 year old Santana**_

" _ **Fuck that was amazing babe." I say as my orgasm passes.**_

" _ **I know." Brit smirks at me.**_

" _ **I love you so much. Only two years left and we are out of here." I say and kiss her.**_

" _ **I can't wait, I love you too San." She says and kisses me softly.**_

 _ **That's when I hear the noise down stairs. Shit, he´s home! He´s not supposed to be here.**_

" _ **You have to go." I tell Brit.**_

" _ **Baby why are you so nervous? Calm down." She says.**_

 _ **She doesn't know about my father. I can't tell her, I know she will be disgusted with me and leave.**_

" _ **Trust me, I need to be this nervous." I say and start to dress up.**_

 _ **That's when he barges in and looks shocked.**_

" _ **What the fuck? Are you a fucking dyke now?" He screams, voice full of disgust.**_

" _ **Brit, run. Just run." I tell her and punch him in the face.**_

 _ **The punch gives Brit time to run out. He punches me back and I fall on the floor. He kicks me and I can feel the broken ribs. I try to get up but he starts to beat me with his belt, my skin open with each hit. He turns me and gets his pants down.**_

" _ **I will teach you how to like a dick you dyke slut." He says and rapes me yet again.**_

* * *

I find myself sobbing as I drive. I have been driving for twelve hours, I need to stop again. I get a room at another motel. I can't sleep, so I go to the bar just outside. I walk in and there are mostly men there, they watch me as I go in but I pay no attention to them. I walk over to the bar and take a seat.

"What can I get you?" A woman asks me.

"Hi, give me a Jack. Cowboy please." I tell the stunning red head.

"Coming right up." She smiles and winks at me.

"Thanks." I say when she hands me the drink.

"So what brings you to this hell hole?" She asks.

"Oh I just stopped to get some rest." I say.

"Shame we don't get beauty's like you often. You have a name?" She flirts.

"Thanks, you're stunning yourself. I'm Santana, and you are?" I flirt back.

"I'm Rachel." She says in a sexy voice.

Just my luck I think to myself as I drink up my Jack.

"So Rachel, when can I take you to my room?" I ask.

She seems shocked by my forwardness at first but then she smirks.

"I will be out in twenty minutes." She tells me.

"Great, meet me in room six. Keep the change." I say and leave twenty dollars at the bar.

"I'll be there soon." She smiles.

I go back to my room and smoke a joint. I feel like I'm cheating on Rachel, but I have to get over her. I'm feeling lousy and sex has always been my escape. I hear a knock so I open the door and let the red head in.

"You like coke?" I ask her as I do a couple of lines.

"Sure." She says as she sits on the bed.

We snort all of it and I'm feeling high. I waste no time and start to undress. She follows me and we are soon naked. We start to have sex and all I can think about is Rachel. Not the red head that is going down on me, but the one that I love. I push the thoughts out of my head and concentrate on the pleasure.

 _ **2013 - 18 year Santana**_

" _ **How did you get all this scars San?" Brit asks and she traces them.**_

 _ **I'm covered in scars, especially in my back. They are a reminder of the years of violence, I need to get tattoos asap.**_

" _ **I got in a car accident when I was a kid." I lie.**_

" _ **Poor baby." She says and kisses them.**_

 _ **I feel so loved. It's time I say to myself, so I get out of bed and grab a little black box. Brit watches me with curious eyes. I sit at the bed and look at her.**_

" _ **Will you marry me?" I ask.**_

" _ **Oh my God! Yes, yes I will." She says with joy.**_

" _ **I love you! Only one week and we are out of here baby." I say as I put the cheap ring on her finger.**_

 _ **She smiles and kisses me. She seems a little weird this days, it must be the anticipation for our escape. Someone calls her, she looks at her phone and turns it off with wide eyes.**_

" _ **Who was that baby?" I ask her.**_

" _ **Oh no one. Go over the plan again San." She says quickly.**_

 _ **That was weird, but I shrug it off. I tell her the plan again, but I leave the part where I kill my father out. Brit hates violence.**_

I wake up with a jump. Shit. I look at sleeping read head that's next to me and sigh. I feel bad for fucking her, but whatever. I slowly walk to the bathroom and take a shower. I get out and she´s still sleeping. I write a note.

" **Morning. I had to go and you were sleeping. The room is paid for, so stay if you want. You are too good for this place, you deserve better. I was great knowing you, Rachel. Take care. Santana."**

I put the note on the table. I get dressed, grab my stuff and go to my car. I should get to Lima in about twelve hours. I check my phone, I have more than fifty missed calls from Rachel. I sigh and want to call her back, but I can't. I drive off and let memories come to my brain.

* * *

 _ **2013 – 18 year old Santana**_

" _ **So you got it?" I ask Puck.**_

" _ **Ya. San are you sure? We can just go away." He says and hands me the gun.**_

" _ **No. I can't let him live. He could do this to someone else. I have to do it." I tell Puck and put the gun in my hoodie's pocket.**_

" _ **Ok, but be careful. We meet in two hours at my place. Call me if anything goes wrong." Puck says.**_

" _ **I know. I'll be there." I say as I hug him and leave.**_

 _ **I walk over to my house. Today is the day I get my freedom. Puck, Brit and I are leaving to LA. But first I'm going to kill that monster. Only then will I be really free. I decide to text Brit and tell her the plan is a go.**_

" _ **Hey babe, everything is working out. Meet me at Puck's place in two hours. I love you."**_

 _ **She doesn't respond and I find it weird. She must be busy packing her stuff. I get to my house and can hear a woman moaning. It must be one of the junkies my dad brings home sometimes. I run up to my room and get everything ready. I pack my bags, get my guitar, my drawing kit and the money I saved for two years working at the diner. I get everything downstairs.**_

 _ **I pull the gun out. I'm nervous but it's now or never. I go to my father's room and open the door. I can't believe my eyes. I know the woman that's riding my dad, it's Brit.**_

" _ **Get off her! Get off!" I scream.**_

 _ **They both jump up and get of the bed. I can't believe he raped her too. I aim the gun at him and I'm about to shoot when Brit jumps in font. I look at her with wide eyes.**_

" _ **Brit?" I cry looking at her eyes.**_

" _ **San, I'm so sorry. Please don't kill him." She pleads.**_

" _ **What? But he was raping you! We were supposed to go away today." I say with a broken voice.**_

" _ **No, we were making love. I'm staying. I love him, he showed me what it means to be a woman." She says and my hearts breaks.**_

" _ **You can't do this. This is not happening." I whisper.**_

" _ **Ya it is you dyke. You can't even keep your woman. I'm better than you, I've always been." My father laughs.**_

" _ **Shut up you monster, just shut up!" I scream and shoot him in the leg.**_

" _ **No Santana! Please don't, just leave." Brit screams and hugs my screaming father.**_

 _ **I look at her and I can feel my legs shake. I can't believe this. I vomit all over and feel like I'm going to pass out. I look at her one last times but she is looking at him with loving eyes. I drop the gun and run downstairs. I grab my thing and run out the door. I text Puck and tell him we have to go now. I run to his place and his waiting for me in the car. I jump in.**_

" _ **San you're fucking pale! Where is Brit? Did you do it?" He asks me concerned.**_

" _ **She's with him. She loves him. Never ask me about them again. Just drive." I say in a broken voice.**_

 _ **Puck nods and speeds off. I take the ring off my finger and throw it out the window. We leave Lima and all the pain behind, or so I hoped.**_

* * *

I come back to my senses. I have to stop daydreaming about my past. That's when I see the "Welcome to Lima" sing. More like well come to hell I think. I sigh and drive into town unsure of what will come next.


	11. Chapter 11

Hello! So once again this is a emotional chapter, also **tw:suicide.** I know huge cliffhanger, don't kill me haha! But please trust me. I have a project for my writing and I'm sure you guys will thank me in the end, so bare with me hahaha Hope you enjoy and keep em reviwes coming. Thanks.

* * *

XI

I drive through Lima. It's still the same town, stuck in time. I get a room at one of it's two hotels. It's late so I take a long bath, get some room service and go to sleep.

" _Hey baby look to the camera!" I say as I film Rachel and the baby._

" _Look Lisa, it's mommy!" Rachel says and smiles at me._

" _Let me hold her." I tell Rachel and she hands me our daughter._

" _Hi there future Lisa, look how cute you are." I say to the camera and kiss the baby._

 _Rachel moves next to us and kisses me._

" _I love you so much." I say._

" _I love you more." She smiles._

" _That's impossible." I whisper in her ear._

 _We have a beautiful family and I have never been so happy._

I wake up and feel sad. I wanted to live on that dream forever. I sigh and get in the shower. I get ready and head out to the morgue. I drive for a few minutes and park outside the building. I sigh and prepare myself for what's to come. I take a last breath and head inside.

* * *

"Hi, I'm here to see Sue Silvester." I tell the receptionist.

"What's your name miss?" She asks.

"Santana Lopez." I say.

"Just a minute." She says and dials her phone.

I nod and shift my feet anxiously. I'm sweating, and my heart feels like it's going to rip my chest.

"She´s expecting you at the basement. You can take the lift down." The woman smiles at me.

"Great, thank you." I say and head to the lift.

I press the basement button and it feels claustrophobic here. The doors finely open and in front of them stands a tall blonde woman.

"Hi Santana, I'm Sue." She smiles and shakes my hand.

"Hi Sue, sorry it took me so long to come." I say apologetically.

"It's ok. It's not an easy thing to do. So are you ready?" She asks.

"Ya, lead the way." I sigh.

I follow her to a room full of body trays, it reeks of dead bodies.

"So I understand how hard this is so take all the time you need." She says.

"Let's do it, I just want to get it done." I say.

"Ok then." Sue says and pulls one of the trays.

There he is. The face of all the pain I feel. The monster that fucked up my life. I feel the fear spread across my body. He can't hurt me now I say to myself, but it doesn't help.

"It's him." I say and swallow hard.

"Do you want time alone to say your goodbyes?" Sue asks.

"No, it's enough. You can close." I say.

"Ok then. So now you have to choose if you want to bury the body or if you want cremation. You can ask your father's lawyer to take care of the preparation. Here is his number." She says as she closes the tray and hands me a card.

"I'll talk to him and he will call you guys." I say.

"Perfect then." Sue smiles.

"What killed him?" I ask.

"He had a drug overdose, heroin." She tells me.

"Wow, guess he got worse with time. He used meth during my teen years." I say with no emotion.

"That's a shame. Listen Santana, he was found with a woman. No one has come to recognize her. Could you take a look?" She asks.

My heart freezes. A woman? It couldn't be. Could it?

"Ya sure." I say.

Sue opens another tray. And there she is. Brit, pale and dead. She looks so old, like she is forty years old. But she is my age, she is twenty two. I cry angry tears.

"Did heroin kill her too?" I ask.

"Yes. I reckon you know her?" Sue asks sympathetically.

"I don't think I ever actually knew her. But yes, I do. That´s Brittany Pierce. Her grandmother lived down at Oak Street. She was really old, so I don't think she is alive anymore. Can you found out and let me know?" I say sadly.

"Of course." Sue says.

What did you do to yourself I mentally ask as I look at Brit's dead body. This is how I will remember her now, not the lively happy blonde girl with the sparkling blue eyes, but this dead cold cadaver.

"You can close now. I'm going over to the lawyer's office right now. So he will call you soon. Thanks for everything Sue." I say and shake her hand.

"That sounds great Santana. No problem, thank you for coming." She smiles.

* * *

I almost run out of the building and get in my car. I sob when it all hits me. He killed Brit, she was so young. He brainwashed her, and I let him. I left her behind and now she is dead. I drive off when I calm down. I park outside the office and head in.

"Hi, I'm looking for Mr. Schuester." I tell the secretary.

"Ok miss, what's your name?" She asks.

"Santana Lopez. " I say.

My phone rings and it's Sue from the morgue.

"Hello." I say.

"Hello again Santana, so I went after Brittany's grandmother and she is indeed dead. So we have no one to take care of the girl's body." She explains and my heart sinks.

"Can I take care of it?" I ask.

"Yes, of course." Sue says.

"Then my lawyer will call. Thank you Sue." I sigh.

"No problem, thank you Santana." She says and hangs up.

The secretary opens an office door and tells me to go in.

"Santana! We finely meet. I'm Will Schuester. I'm sorry about , he was a great guy." The middle-aged curly haired man says.

Ya the best guy around I say to myself. I stare at Will's but chin with an annoyed look.

"Ya no problem. So let's get this over with." I say.

"Ok! So you father left you a small heritance. It´s about fifty thousand dollars. He also left you the house and everything inside it." He tells me.

"I don't want his money. You will call the morgue and see that the money is used to cremate him and Brittany Pierce. The morgue can do whatever they want with the ashes. The rest of the money will pay your services and the part that last part will be donated to a charity that protects women. I only want the house keys." I tell him.

"Ok that's fine. I'll generate the papers so that I can guarantee everything and you sing it." He smiles and hands me the house keys.

He hands me the papers, I read over and sign.

"Is that all?" I ask getting up.

"Oh I almost forgot, he left this tape collection too." He says and hand me a case.

I never knew he had a tape collection.

"Ok then. Thanks for the help." I say and shake his hand.

"Thank you Santana." He smiles.

* * *

I get in my car and prepare myself to go to the house. But first I go to the gas station and buy two gallons of gasoline. This will be the hardest thing I will ever do. But I have to go. I drive over to Lima Heights Adjacent, the worst neighborhood in Lima. The smell of piss and trash brings me back to my childhood and teen years. My stomach turns. I park outside my old house and get goosebumps all over.

"It's now or never Santana." I tell myself and get out of the car taking the case the lawyer gave me and the gallons of gasoline.

I open the door and the smell inside the house almost makes me vomit. There is trash all around and many cockroaches. They really were at rock bottom with their addiction. I go upstairs to my old room and it seems the same, only there are spider webs all around. I see a picture of my mother and me, I cry when I pick it up. It's the only one I have of her, I must have forgotten it when I went away. I take it and put it in my jacket.

I don't go to my father´s room. Instead I go downstairs. There are a lot off syringes at the living room's table, I cringe at that. Then I see it, the gun I bought to kill my father is on the floor. I picked it up and it´s loaded. I put it on the table with shaky hands. I look at the case the lawyer gave me and curiosity gets the best of me. I turn the TV on and play the first tape.

The image that appears shocks me. It shows me, as a little girl and my father raping me. I take the tape off and put another one in and it´s the same thing. I start to sob and freak out, I go through all the hundreds of tapes. He filmed almost every rape, it's eight years of rape tapes. I watch all my pain and I break once again.

I vomit and start to shake uncontrollably. I think about Rachel and how she deserves better, I think about Brit and how I failed her and I think about my mother and how I failed to save her too. The only thing I did right was to leave Rachel when I did, or I would have fucked up her life too. I text Puck and Quinn and tell them that I love them and that I'm sorry.

"I can't do this anymore." I whisper to myself.

I pick up the gun and put it inside my mouth. I taste the metal and it makes me feel sick. I put my finger on the trigger and start to push. A loud sound follows…


	12. Chapter 12

I know, I know! Another cliffhanger... Don't kill me! I promise I will update soon. So this chapter is different, it´s from **Rachel's POV.** We finely get to know about her past, hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading and as always let me know what you think. ;)

* * *

XII

 **New York, 2016**

I wake up and head to the bathroom to do my morning routine. Today is the day and I am static! I have the best voice in NYADA and I'm going to win this. I will get the chance to sing a solo in front of Broadway directors, which is all I need. I get ready and head to the kitchen. My best friend and roommate Kurt is already making breakfast while he sings.

"Morning sunshine." I say happily and kiss his cheeks.

"Someone is in a good mood today." Kurt laughs.

"Yes I am! Today is the day my life changes, I'm going to get that solo Kurt. I just know it." I confidently say.

"I hope you do. But what will your star boyfriend say?" Kurt asks and raises an eyebrow.

I think about that for a while. My boyfriend Jesse is also a star student in NYADA. He is older and more experienced, very talented too, but he is no Rachel Berry. I know I deserve the solo and I believe the teachers feel the same way. I hope Jesse won't let his jealousy get to his head, and that he will support me.

"I think he will be happy for me." I finally say with a smile.

"If you say so." Kurt sighs.

"Hello lovely people." Blaine says as he enters the kitchen.

Blaine is Kurt's fiancé and also one of my best friends. He moved in with us after he proposed to Kurt. I don't really have to share a loft with anyone, my fathers make that very clear, but I like the company. They also get mad that I work part time as a tattoo artist, another little talent of mine, they say I should concentrate in becoming a star. But I can do both, besides, I love working and feeling useful.

"Morning Blaine." I smile.

"Hi baby." Kurt says and kisses him.

"Ok boys I have to go to work now. I will go to NYADA later, so wish me luck. Oh and you guys can buy a bottle of champagne because we will celebrate tonight." I clap my hands excitedly.

"Ok Barbra Streisand, we will be here with the drinks." Kurt laughs.

"You're going to kick ass Rachel, I know it!" Blaine smiles.

"Oh what would I do without my best gays? I love you guys." I say as I hug them.

"Probably wear ugly clothes. I love you too." Kurt laughs.

"You're horrible. Ok now I have to go, bye bye." I say and hurry out the door.

* * *

I head to the studio I work in and get some tattoos done. When I'm finished I head to NYADA. I'm nervous and exited. I call Jesse and go meet him for coffee.

"Hi babe." I kiss Jesse and sit down.

"Hi honey. Here you go, cappuccino no sugar." He says and hands me my coffee.

"Thank you. So big day today huh?" I say excitedly.

"Ya well I'm calm, there´s no competition. It's my solo." He smirks.

"Haha very funny." I laugh.

"It's not a joke babe. I mean, you have a lot of talent, don't get me wrong. But you're not me. You're not the best." He says.

"You're right. I'm not you, I'm so much better than you. As a singer and as a person." I say angrily.

"Calm down Rachel, God you are so sensitive." He sighs.

"Fuck you Jesse. You know what? Kurt was right about you, you're just a spoilt and misogynistic dick head. You think you are all that but you are a horrible person. We´re done." I say and get up.

Jesse gets up and holds my arm. He looks like he's about to hit me, people are starting to stare.

"Let go, you´re hurting me." I whisper in fear.

"So the fag thinks he can say those things about me. He got that shit into your head." He sneers.

"Wow you're a homophobe too!" I say in shock.

"Yeah I am, I never said anything because I know you're a fag lover. Rachel you're nothing, you're lucky that I even notice you. You're lucky that fucking you feels good." He laughs.

"I can't believe this. You are horrible, never talk to me again." I say and push him off.

"You will come back running for this dick you slut!" He screams.

I run to the toilet and lock myself. Angry tears fall and I'm shaking. I decide to call Kurt.

" _Kurt." I say shakily._

" _Rachel honey, what's wrong? Oh god you didn't win. I'm so sorry but other opportunities…" Kurt starts._

" _No. It's Jesse." I cut him off._

" _What's wrong? Did he hurt you?" Kurt asks._

" _Yes. I mean, not physically. But he said horrible things Kurt, I'm so hurt. I loved him, I still do." I cry._

" _Oh honey, he doesn't deserve your tears. You're too good for him, I always told you that. Now you get cleaned up and go win that solo like the star you are. We're waiting with the champagne." Kurt says._

" _Oh Kurt, I love you so much. I would die without you." I sigh._

" _No you wouldn't, I mean you could die from your horrible clothes. I love you too Rachel." He jokes._

" _Ok don't flatter yourself. They are going to reveal the winner soon. I'll be home later. Thanks for everything." I say._

" _Go get em. I am always here for you. Bye." Kurt says and hangs up._

I get cleaned up and head for the auditorium. It's already full of people with nervous faces. I spot Jesse, he looks at me with a smug face. I look at the floor and make my way to an empty seat. Carmen Tibideaux walks into the stage.

"Settle down everybody." She starts.

The talking ceases and all eyes are on her. God this woman is amazing.

"Good night. This day is a career changer. I have been a teacher in NYADA for twenty years, I know talent. Some talents don't win this solo, but all the winners are special talents. All of them won a Tony award." She says.

I can feel the whole audience taking a long breath. My own hitches in my throat.

"So let's go to the winner. Rachel Berry, your career starts today." She says and starts to clap.

What? Did she just say my name? I stare at nothing as people start to clap and congratulate me. All the sound seems far away. I start to cry happy tears. I did it, I really did! My dream was starting to come true. I get to my senses and start to thank people. I walk over to Carmen.

"Madam Tibideaux, thank you so much." I say happily.

"Don't thank me Rachel. Thank your talent, I've always believed in you. I expect nothing less than perfection in your solo presentation." She says proudly.

"I won't disappoint you madam! I promise." I smile.

She smiles and walks away. I talk to a few more people and head home. I get out of the building and someone pushes me violently.

"You fucking bitch." Jesse sneers.

"Jesse not now. I'm sorry you didn't win, but you don't get to ruin my moment." I say.

"Who did you fuck to get it? Huh?" He laughs.

"You don't give up do you?" I sigh.

"My career is over because of you bitch. You're going to pay." He spits out.

"Your career is over because you are impossible to work with, everyone hates you Jesse. Only I defended you, but they were right. You're no good." I say.

"You will see what I am Rachel. Just you wait. I will ruin everything you love." He says in a low voice and walks away.

I get chills all over my body. The way he said it, it felt like a promise. A promise that meant horrible things. I shrug it off and head home to celebrate with my best friends.

* * *

 **2 Months Later**

"Kurt I'm going to die!" I say as I start to panic.

"No you're not, look at me! You are ready, you will be perfect Rachel." He says and he looks into my eyes.

"I don't know, what if I forget my lyrics?" I ask.

"You're kidding right? It's Don't Rain on My Parade! You know every word since you were four." He says.

"You're right! I know it, I'm going to kick ass." I say excitedly.

We head out to the living room and my fathers are waiting.

"Are you ready sweetheart?" Dad asks.

"If you're not we can wait honey." Daddy smiles.

Yes I call my fathers dad and daddy.

"No, I'm ready! We can go." I say.

I turn to Kurt to say goodbye, I would only see him when I enter the stage. He will wait for Blaine to get home from work before they head to NYADA.

"Kurt this would be impossible without you. Thank you so much for everything. You're my best friend and my brother." I say with tears in my eyes.

"No tears! Watch your make up. I'm glad to be here, you are a star Rachel. You were born to shine, and you will. Believe in yourself and everything will be possible. I love you so much, you are my sister." He says with emotional eyes.

We hug for a long time. My fathers and I leave the loft.

"Break a leg!" Kurt calls out.

"I will!" I laugh back.

As we head to our car, I see a person wearing a hoodie enter my building. I get a horrible feeling in my stomach and almost head back. But I stop and push it aside.

* * *

We get to NYADA, I say goodbye to my fathers and head backstage. I got a glance at the audience and it's a full house, no doubt full of Broadway people. I take a deep breath. A voice startles me.

"Nervous?" Madam Tibideaux asks.

"I would be lying if I said I'm not." I sigh.

"That's normal, it's a big thing. I wasn't kidding when I said your career starts today. But I'm calm." She says.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes. I have seen a lot of talent. But you're the first Rachel Berry. I have no fear in saying you're the best thing after Barbra." She smiles.

"I don't know what to say." I whisper.

"Don't say anything, just sing. Break a leg Rachel." She smiles and walks away.

"Thank you." I say.

It's time. I walk into stage and the lights are all on me. I can see the audience. I find my fathers but Kurt and Blaine aren't here. Maybe they are just late. I forget everything when the orchestra starts playing. I sing, and it´s natural to me, I belong on stage.

I finish the last note and the music stops. The audience gives a standing ovation. My heart almost explodes with happiness, this is the best moment of my life. I search the audience for Kurt, but he´s not there. I feel sad.

"Ladies and gentleman that was Rachel Berry. The best student I have ever had. Rachel you were nothing less than perfect, well done." Carmen says into the microphone.

I give her a huge smile and a hug, thank the audience and make my exit. The next few hours I spend talking to Broadway people, my career really did start.

* * *

When the night is over, we walk over to the car. My fathers are going to take me home since it´s already late. Tomorrow we will celebrate.

"Kurt didn't make it?" I ask them.

"No honey, no one saw him." He tells me.

I nod sadly. Where was he? We get home and I get to my loft after saying goodbye to my fathers. I open the door.

"Kurt, Blaine?" I call.

I hear a faint moan.

"Are you guys fucking? I swear that if you are fucking I will kill both of you." I say and walk into the loft.

That's when I step in something wet. I look down and it´s a pool of blood. I then look around and it´s a horror scene.


	13. Chapter 13

Hello! Sorry it took a while for me to upload. Hope you guys enjoy and keep those reviews coming. Thanks :)

* * *

XIII

I stare at the scene in front of me with wide eyes. There is blood everywhere and everything is broken. Something horrible happened. I hear a moan again, so I walk towards the sound. But what I see next stops me in my tracks.

"Oh my god, Kurt." I cry.

I stare at Kurt's dead body. He has stab wounds all over his body, even in his face. Who could do something like this?

"Kurt I'm so sorry. This can't be happening." I sob as I hold his head body.

I hear the noise again so I get up and keep walking, that's when I find Blaine. He has a knife stabbed to his stomach, but he is still alive. I waste no time and call an ambulance.

"Blaine what happened?" I say in a broken voice.

"It was Jesse. He killed him Rachel. He killed my Kurt." He says in pain.

"I'm so so sorry Blaine. Where is he? Did he leave?" I ask as I hold his face.

"I killed him, but he got me first." Blain says and points in a direction.

I look and see Jesse´s body. He has a huge cut in his head and is definitely dead.

"How did you do it?" I ask.

"That ugly angel sculpture you have. I smashed him in the head." He says.

"Oh Blaine, I can't believe this. This can't be happening." I cry.

"It's not your fault. I got here and Kurt was already dead. Jesse said he always wanted to kill Kurt and that it was also revenge." Blaine says.

"He was a monster. I should have listened to Kurt." I say eyes full of tears.

"He killed my love, he killed him…" Blaine whispers and then stops breathing.

"Blaine? Don't you die on me!" I scream.

I start doing CPR but it does nothing. I sob and continue until the paramedics get to the loft. They confirm Blaine is dead.

"He killed them. He killed them." I keep saying with lost eyes.

* * *

 **2 Months later:**

I dropped out of NYADA. Carmen said more than five directors had roles for me. I could be in Broadway right now. It didn't matter anymore. Kurt was dead. My best friend was brutally murdered because of me. Blaine was also dead, he died in my arms. Also my fault.

Carmen called many times in the first month, I turned her down more times that I can remember. So she stopped. I lost my chance, but I don't care.

I have been is this bed since I moved back. My fathers force me to eat and bathe. I don't talk to them, I don't talk anymore. I just stare and cry. Sometimes I scream. That happens when I see Kurt's deformed body in my nightmares.

 **4 Months later:**

"Good morning." I say as I enter the kitchen.

My fathers stare at me with wide eyes. This is the first time I say something after everything happened. They have been giving me some pills in the past month. I have to admit it helped.

"Rachel baby, are you ok?" My dad asks with a concerned voice.

"Far from that. But I want to get better, I want to try." I say honestly.

I start seeing a psychiatrist. Her name is Emma, a little red head woman. She is very kind and smart. It is helping, but I still sob when I talk about Kurt.

I will always feel responsible for his death. She says I'm deeply depressed. I disagree, I think I'm broken beyond repair, actually I know that.

 **6 Months later:**

"I figured it out." I tell Emma, the shrink.

"Do share." Emma says.

"I have to leave New York." I say as I look out the window.

"Really? You think that's the solution?" She asks.

"No. I mean… There is no solution. Kurt is dead. Blaine is dead. There is no coming back." I mutter.

"That's true. Horrible things happen, but live continues." She says.

"I'm trying. However, every corner in this city reminds me of them. I need a fresh start." I say.

"Ok, I think that's good. As your doctor, I say you should go. However, I want you to keep taking the meds. Promise me you will call if you feel bad things. I'm here to help." Emma smiles.

"That's a deal." I try to smile back.

I call my friend Mercedes. We met in high school in a glee club competition. She lives in LA and owns a tattoo shop. I ask her for a job and she doesn't hesitate to say yes. I leave NY and my dreams.

* * *

 **7 Months later:**

I have been in LA for a week. I start to work tomorrow and I'm somewhat nervous. I decide to go out for a drink. It's the first time after it happened.

I go to a rock bar and a band is playing. The crowd is going crazy, especially the girls, and I can understand why, they are amazing. I eye the stage and see this gorgeous Latina girl playing the guitar beautifully, I realize the girls are going crazy for her. I stare at her and she stares right back with dark and penetrating eyes. When the staring competition gets to hot I make my way to the bar.

I ask for a drink and stare at the counter. I think about Kurt and how he would tell me to go after the sexy guitar player, he always encouraged my bisexuality. I laugh and then I feel sad. I push those thoughts aside and concentrate on my drink.

"So who is that girl with the guitar?" I ask the bartender.

"Oh that's Santana. She´s a total lesbian and a total player." She laughs.

Santana. Well that's a sexy name. Perfect for her.

"Really? So she is known?" I ask amused.

"Oh she's known alright! She is like a legend, a lesbian legend." The bartender smirks.

I only smile in return. The music stops and I look at the stage. Santana is nowhere to be found, I sigh in strange disappointment. It's not like I would actually have the balls to talk to her, especially with the whole legend thing. That's when I hear the most sexy voice ever.

"A beer please, and what will you have beautiful?" The person says.

I turn around and it's the guitar player. It's this Santana girl. She is even more breathtaking up close. She is looking at me with those dark eyes and smirking. All I can do is smile back.

"I´ll have a shot of tequila please." I tell the bartender.

 **10 days ago:**

Santana just told me that her father raped her for years and now she is walking away forever. All I can do is stare at her and apologize. I want to tell her that my life isn't perfect either and the horrible thing that happened, but I can't. I just want to protect her right now, so I tell her what I feel.

"I love you." I cry out.

She stops walking away and turns to look at me. She knows how to put a poker face on, but her eyes betray her. I have never seen eyes more expressive than hers. Her face is hard but her eyes show an inner battle.

"That's too bad, because I don't do love." She says coldly and walks away.

It breaks my heart when I hear it so I let her get in the car and drive away. I think for a while and decide that I won't give up on us.

"I don't believe you." I say to no one.

* * *

 **Today:**

I lost count of how many times I've called Santana. I have called Quinn and Puck and they know as much as I do. I am so worried. I never thought I would miss her presence so much.

I know in my gut that Santana is the one for me, I know she is the love of my life. We are broken people, we went through horrible things. We are meant to be together, we can fix each other. I am Rachel Berry and I don´t give up.

That's when I feel it. I can't explain what it is. I just feel in my heart that Santana is in danger. I call Puck and Quinn and they know nothing. I don't know what to do. She never picks up but I decide to try one last time, so I dial her number. The phone rings many times and I'm about to hang up.

"Rachel I'm so sorry." A broken Santana picks up and says.


	14. Chapter 14

XIV

I am about to pull the trigger when my phone rings and startles me. I normally wouldn't answer it, but something tells me I should. I put the gun back at the table and pick up the phone. It's Rachel, so I take the call.

"Rachel I'm so sorry." I say and my broken voice surprises me.

"Baby don't do whatever it is you are about to do." She begs.

"I can't do this Rachel. It's too much pain, I just can't anymore." I cry.

"Santana you listen to me. You are the strongest person I know. Few people would get away from what you did, but you did it. I can't imagine the pain you feel but I can help you through it. I promise." She says.

"I don't think I can." I whisper.

"Yes you can. Are you going to let him win? He wanted you to be broken, prove him wrong. Be happy San, that's the ultimate revenge." She says.

I think about it and she is right. He got off on my pain. He wanted me to be miserable. The thing that would get to him the most is my happiness.

"You know what. You are right. Wait for me baby, I'm coming home." I say.

"Oh San thanks god. I can't lose you, I just can't." She lets herself cry.

"Don't cry. I love you too." I say truthfully.

"I know that." She says happily.

"I'll be there in a couple of days." I say.

We say our goodbyes and I hang up. I see that I have many texts from Puck and Quinn, so I decide to call Puck.

"Santa what the fuck are you doing? I was about to get in my car and head there." He screams into the phone.

"Nothing. I lost myself for a moment but I'm ok." I say.

"You're not ok. This is enough you are getting professional help when you get back." He cries.

"I know and I will. It's about time I get my problems in order. Brit is dead Puck, she was with my father. The both had OD's." I say.

"Holly shit, no wonder you got so broken. I'm so sorry San." He says.

"I know. But it's done, now I can only move forward right? Life waits for no fool." I say.

"Word! Just back here will ya?" Puck says.

"I'll be there in a couple of days." I say.

"Ok sis, take care ok? Don't get stupid on me, I love you." He says.

"I won't! I promise. I love you too bro. Do me a favor and call Quinn. Tell her everything is fine." I say.

"Will do, drive save lesbo." He says and hangs up.

I sigh and look at the gun in front of me. What the fuck was I doing? Rachel saved my ass. She saved me and I fucked a girl behind her back. I'm going to tell her as soon as we meet and she will probably dump my ass. I deserve it.

I get up and start to pour gasoline everywhere. I go upstairs and soak everything too. I make a trail to the door. I take a last look at the horror house. Today this ends. I light up a cigarette and take a long drag, then I throw it at the trail of fuel and the fire begins.

"Burn motherfucker." I whisper.

I turn my back and run back to my car. I look at the house as I drive away and it's burning up fast. All the horror and the tapes would burn. This was my purge, my new start.

I go to the hotel to get my stuff and then I head back to LA. I'm going back to the love of my life and I'm going to be happy. I will prove to that motherfucker that he can't break me. I'm so much stronger than him. I drive into the highway with a smile.

* * *

I make it back to LA as fast as I can. I am tired and I fucking smell so I got home before going to Rachel's house. I get to my place and as soon as I open the door Satan comes running and jumps at me.

"Hey boy. I'm home." I say as he licks my face.

"Santana?" Quinn screams for somewhere inside the house.

"Honey I'm home!" I scream back.

Quinn comes running and jumps me, just like Satan did.

"San I thought you were dead. You scared me so much." She whispers and doesn't let go.

"I know. I'm so sorry, I just went to a very bad place." I apologize.

"Never do that again." She says and looks at me.

"I promise I won't." I say.

"San no offense… But you smell really bad." She says and scrunches her nose.

"I know. I slept in my car. I haven't seen a bath in three days." I laugh.

"You're disgusting. Go now! Wash yourself. I'll make you something to eat." She says and pushes me away.

"Thanks love." I laugh and go upstairs.

I take a long bath and prepare myself for the talk I'm about to have with Rachel. I need to tell her about the red head. I need to come clean so we can start over. It makes me nervous and sick to think that I might lose her today. I sigh and get out of the shower.

I stare at myself in the mirror. I look like shit. I need to start fresh, nothing like a new haircut to do that. I grab my scissors and start cutting, yes I learned how to cut my own hair because my father never took me to the hairdresser. When I'm satisfied I dress up for Rachel and make my way downstairs. I enter the kitchen and it smells amazing.

"What did you cook, it smells great!" I say.

"It's just some pasta and meat." Quinn laughs and turns around with the pan.

She sees me and stares with wide eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"You look amazing. Like… Really hot. So hot, I would totally fuck you right now. If we weren't friends of course." She says quickly.

"Thanks, I guess." I laugh.

"You're welcome. Now eat." She says and gives me the food.

"Don't mind if I do." I say and start to eat.

"So are you all dressed up for Rachel? You smell really good too." She says eyeing me.

"Yeah I did. She deserves it." I say.

I gave myself a short haircut, I look really hot. Even hotter than before. I putted on a pair of leather pants and a white t-shirt, along with my Docs. I look like every lesbian's dream.

"Rachel should brace herself." Quinn laughs.

"You really have the hots for me don't you?" I ask.

"Not really, I mean you do look amazing. But we already fucked, and it was horrible." She says.

"That was your fault." I laugh.

"Shut up! We just didn't go well together." She says and smacks me.

"True, but we are great as friends." I say.

"Hell ya we are." Quinn smiles.

"That was delicious, I have to go. I might sleep at Rachel's so don't worry if I don't come home." I say and get up.

"Ok hot pants." Quinn says.

"Bye blondie, thanks for lunch. I love your ass." I say and kiss her cheek.

"Love you too San." She says.

I get to the garage and hop on my bike. I put my shades on and drive off. Ladies stare at me whenever I stop at a red light, shit I feel amazing. But there is only one woman in my mind and in my heart.

* * *

I get to Rachel's house and park outside. I'm really nervous so I take a sniff from the cocaine I have in my pocket. I feel braver instantly so I get off my bike and make my way to the door. I ring the bell and wait. Rachel opens the door the door and stares at me.

"Hey pretty." I smile at her.

She jumps at me and wraps her legs around my waist I walk us inside and shut the door. She kisses me deeply and I lose my breath. Shit I forgot how amazing this is. We kiss passionately for a long time.

"You look amazing. Like a dream." She says when we break apart.

"I can say the same. You look perfect." I say.

"No, seriously. I think you are the hottest person I've ever seen." She says.

"And I'm all yours." I smirk.

"Never leave me again San." She says and holds my hands.

"Only when I die." I promise.

"Only when you're really old." She says.

"Yes, only then. Listen babe, we have to talk." I start.

"Ok…" Rachel says with a scared voice.

"I did something really awful when I was driving to Ohio. I was so fucked up in the head and drunk, but it's no excuse. I had sex with a random woman. I'm so sorry." I say looking deep at her eyes.

"What?" She whispers.

"I..." I try to say.

"I heard you the first time." She says angrily.

"I'm so sorry." I sigh.

Rachel lets go of my hand and walks around her living room. I'm sure she's going to dump me. I deserve it.

"I can't believe you Santana. You just leave fuck someone. Just like that? What the hell is wrong with you?" She asks.

"So much… I can only apologize Rachel. I was in a really bad place but I have no explanation for what I did." I say.

"Here I was calling you like crazy, thinking you were dead! And you were fucking some girl!" She screams.

"I'm so sorry. I don't deserve you." I cry.

I turn around to leave but Rachel takes my arm. I look at her and she is staring at me with loving eyes.

"I forgive you. But never do that to me again. I won't give you a third chance San." She says and holds my face in her hands.

"I promise…" I start.

"Wait. There are more rules. You can't shut me out anymore, I need to know what you are felling. You will go to therapy and learn how to deal with you pain, it really does help. And the cocaine has to stop." She lectures.

"Wait you know about the cocaine?" I ask wide-eyed.

"Of course I do, you think I'm blind? I see it at your nose right now and I know it when you're high." She says with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry, you really do deserve better. I'm a junkie and a train wreck." I say and look down.

"True, but you are also the love of my life and a good person. You deserve happiness San, but you have to get your act together." She says and hugs me.

"I will, I promise I will." I cry at her shoulder.

"I believe you, and I will help." She says and looks at my eyes.

"I love you so much." I whisper.

"I love you more." She smiles.

"Impossible." I say.

She stares at me and I start to kiss her deeply. She moans into my mouth and I get instantly wet.

"I missed this." I say hotly in her ear.

"So fuck me." She says and bites my neck.

I lie her on the floor and start to take her clothes off. I fall in love every time I look at her naked body. I take in all of Rachel. Perfectly toned legs, sexy belly with the dip in the navel, round and perky breasts, long and classy neck, those juicy lips open and breathing hard and those eyes. Those chocolate eyes that make me believe in love.

"You are perfection." I tell her.

"Shut up and fuck me already." She says and rips my shirt open.

"Wow." I whisper surprised.

She gets me naked and throws me at the floor. She gets on top and starts to grid our pussies together.

"Fuck Rachel." I moan.

She stares down at me with half open eyes and it turns me on even more. She keeps riding me and it feels amazing. I can feel her body start to shake.

"Oh God." She breaths out.

"Come for me baby." I say and pinch her nipples.

She comes hard with a loud moan and I follow. She collapses against me and our naked bodies feel amazing against each other.

"Wow! That was something else." She sighs.

"I know. Hey babe look I me." I say and hold her face.

"What?" She asks looking at me with big eyes.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I say and it´s the biggest truth to ever come out of my mouth.

"I would love that." She smiles big.

We spend hours like that. Naked on the floor just taking each other in. I could really be happy like this.


	15. Chapter 15

Hi guys! Sorry it took me a while to post this. Hope you guys enjoy, keep those reviwes coming. Thanks ;)

* * *

XV

I wake up to Rachel's kisses.

"Hi baby you slept for hours. I tried to wake you so you could go to bed but you were passed out." She laughs.

"Shit, I was really tired." I croak out.

"I figured. Let's go to bed." Rachel says and pulls me up.

We stare at each other as we lie down. Rachel strokes my face and this feels perfect.

"I need to tell you somethings babe." She starts.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing. I just want to tell you about my past." She says with a sad voice.

So, she does. She tells me about Kurt, Blain and Jesse. She tells me about NYADA and how she was a rising star. She tells me about her depression. All I can do is feel bad for saying her life was perfect.

"Wow babe, I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that." I whisper and I kiss her forehead.

"I won't lie, I was pretty pissed off with the universe for a while. But bad things happen to people all the time. We just have to move on." She says.

"Yep, that's the truth. Why did you keep this from me?" I ask.

"For the same reason you kept your pains from me." She says.

"You've got a point. But I'm here for you Rachel, you can talk to me." I say.

"I know baby, I'm here for you too." She says and pecks my lips.

"I knew you were a singer. You are amazing, you should try again babe." I say.

"I lost my chance San… I'm sure Carmen wants nothing to do with me." She sighs.

"You can try, I think you deserve another chance." I say.

"San, just drop it. It's gone, I have to focus on the present." She sighs.

"Ok babe." I say sadly.

* * *

 **1 Month later:**

"Just fuck off Rachel." I scream at her as I feel the vomit coming up again.

"Baby let me help you." She pleads.

"No! This is your fault." I say in pain.

I've stopped using cocaine for a month now and the withdraw is horrible. My body feels sick and I vomit all the time.

"Santana just open the door." Rachel knocks on the bathroom door.

"Go away you bitch." I scream back.

"You can call me all the names you want, but I promised I would be here so I'm not leaving." She says.

I kick the door open and Rachel looks at me with scared eyes. I'm losing my mind and all I want is to get cocaine in my system. I grab my jacket and start to leave.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asks and holds my arm.

"Why do you care?" I spit back.

"San stop, let me help you." She pleads.

"No!" I scream and push her back.

She falls to the floor and looks up at me with broken eyes. I can feel the rage inside me turning into guilt and pain. I get on my knees and start to sob.

"I'm so sorry." I cry.

Rachel gets up and knees in front of me.

"It's ok, I know it's hard." She says and hugs me.

"I just feel horrible. Everything hurts." I cry.

That's when someone knocks loudly at the door. Rachel opens the door and Puck walks in with anger in his eyes.

"Get the fuck up." He says as he grabs me.

"Let go!" I say and punch his back.

He doesn't say anything and drags me to the bedroom. He throws me inside and locks the door.

"Are you stupid?" He asks with a hard voice.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I ask.

"Rachel texted me that you were being violent. You going to hit her?' He asks.

"That's none of your business." I spit out.

"Actually it is, if you are about to hit your girl it is my business. What the fuck San? You want to be like your father?" He says.

"Shut the fuck up and get out." I scream at him.

"No! I won't get out because I'm your brother. You can't keep ruining yourself San! Just stop!" He screams back.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want." I sneer.

"So you can OD like him? Like Brit?" He asks looking deep into my eyes.

That hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm repeating the story, being violent and wanting drugs. I can't go on like this.

"I would never hit her. You know that. I just hate her right now because it hurts too much." I cry.

"San I know it's hard, but you can do this. You're the strongest person I know." He says as he hugs me.

"I don't know if I can." I sob.

"You can and you will. Just let us take care of you. Allow people to love you." He says softly.

"I'll try." I say as I hug him back.

* * *

 **3 Months later:**

"I guess that's the last one." I say as I drop the box on the floor.

I'm only in my sports bra and shorts, I'm fucking sweating and tired. Rachel comes up to me and kisses my neck.

"You look so hot right know, all those muscles get me so wet." She rasps in my ear.

"Hmmm… More like disgusting, I smell." I laugh as I sit on the floor.

"I can't believe you're moving in. This is perfect baby." Rachel says and hands me a beer.

"Thanks babe. Ya, I'm excited. I think it's perfect timing since Quinn is getting serious with that girl Tina. She can have the house to herself and we can have our home too." I say and drink up almost all the beer.

"Wow thirsty much?" Rachel laughs.

"Ya, I'm spent. I have way too much shit." I sigh.

"Why don't you get a bath and I'll give you a massage." Rachel winks at me.

"Don't need to tell me twice." I say and go to the shower.

I take a long and relaxing bath. Then I get out, wrap a towel around my hips and go find Rachel. She´s in the kitchen so I kiss her neck from behind.

"Hmm you smell so good." She says.

"I taste even better." I breathe in her ear.

"Someone is eager." She says as she turns around and sees I'm half-naked.

"Why put clothes on if I'm going to get naked later?" I smirk.

"Fair enough. But first lie down on table." She commands.

"Yes sir." I laugh.

I go over to the big table Rachel has in her kitchen, well our kitchen now, and lie face down. She walks to me with a bottle of oil in her hands and gets on top. She starts to work her hands on my back and all the tension goes away. Her hands are magic.

"Shit that feels so good." I moan out.

"Shhh quiet, just relax." She says.

She makes her way down my body and takes the towel off leaving me butt naked. She works on my ass and then opens my legs.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I try to look at her.

"Just relax and let me treat you San." She says.

She slips her hands between my open thighs and starts to play with my folds. It feels amazing and I'm already on the edge.

"Fuck baby you feel so good." I husk out.

She keeps teasing me and my body is shaking all over. With no warning, she slips two fingers inside and begins to fuck me slowly. I can feel my orgasm coming and soon it hits me hard.

"Are you relaxed now?" Rachel asks as she lowers her body on top of me.

"Fuck yes I am." I sigh.

"Good." She says and pecks my lips.

"Sit on my face." I say in a raspy voice.

"What?" Rachel asks wide-eyed.

"Sit on my fucking face." I command.

She nods and positions herself. Her thighs are over my shoulders and the view is amazing. She´s wearing a dress so I easily slip off her panties. I stare at her pussy and I can see how wet she is. I hold her hips and push her down on my face, licking her lazily and playing with her folds.

"Oh my god San." She moans out and puts her hands on my chest to steady herself.

I continue to lick and suck, never getting enough of her taste and smell. I slip my tongue inside her hole and can feel her walls clenching. She is close, so I nibble delicately on her clit. She lets out a loud moan. Her hand shoot forward and I guess she forgot there is nothing to hold on to there. She flies face first into the floor, taking me with her and breaking half the table in the process.

"Shit." I scream as I hit the ground.

Rachel is flat on the floor and looks dead. Such a drama queen.

"I think I'm paralyzed for life." She moans.

I can only laugh at that, so I tickle her feet and she kicks me in return.

"Nope, you're fine." I say.

"Is there any blood? I feel dead." She says and rolls herself over.

"No, you're not hurt. But the table is." I say as I look at the broken table.

"Just my luck." Rachel sighs.

"Don't worry, I'll buy a new one tomorrow. But now let's finish what we started." I smirk and get my lips between her legs.

* * *

 **5 Months later:**

"So you like her?" Quinn asks me.

"Ya she´s ok. I little too Goth if you ask me. But hell if she makes you happy than I like her." I say, as I look at the Asian girl all dressed in black.

"Don't be mean San!" Quinn scolds.

"I'm not! She's cool." I laugh.

Today is Rachel's birthday so I set up a small party for her. She deserves every celebration. This is the first time Quinn actually broth Tina, her girlfriend, to meet us. Rachel comes dancing towards me and she is clearly drunk.

"Baby, Quinn you guys should dance." She says happily.

"I need more drinks to get there baby." I laugh.

"Same here. But someone is clearly drunk." Quinn smiles as she eyes Rachel.

"Booo you guys are so lame." Rachel shows her tongue and dances away.

"What the hell?" Quinn asks me as we look at Rachel.

"Don't ask." I laugh and shrug.

Tina walks toward us. I decide to be nice and get to know the girl.

"So Tina what do you do for a living?" I ask her and Quinn rolls her eyes at me.

"I'm a fashion designer. I only make black clothes." She says in a shy voice.

"Ha that's a good one." I laugh and Quinn glares at me.

"It's not a joke, that's what I do. It's my art." Tina says.

"Oh! Oook, that's cool." I try to sound natural.

The girl glares at me and walks away.

"Nice one!" Quinn says and punches my arm.

"What did I do?" I say and watch as Quinn follows her girl.

The party is great, Rachel is having fun and everybody is drunk dancing. I'm dancing tightly with Rachel, our hips moving along to the music. Her ass is grinding into my front and it feels great. I kiss her neck hungrily and I'm sure the scene looks really dirty to everyone else. I look around and find Tina in a corner watching Quinn and she dances with Puck. I decide to go talk to the poor girl.

"I'll be right back." I tell Rachel.

"Ok baby." She says and keeps dancing.

I walk towards Tina and she eyes me like she's scared.

"Hey Tina. Listen I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I would really like it if we were friends." I smile.

"I don't know why Quinn likes me. I mean you people are all perfect and popular. Especially you, I mean look at you. I know you don't think I'm enough for Quinn, I think that too." She rambles.

"Hey, I can assure you I'm anything but perfect. And yes I know I look all confident and sure of myself, but it's just something I got used to doing to protect myself. We are good people, normal people. Just like you." I say truthfully.

"I doubt that. I mean I'm a six at best and you guys are all tens. Look at your girlfriend, she is like a goddess and so are you." She sighs and points in Rachel's direction.

I look over and Rachel is in her own world, dancing sensually to the beat and felling her body. She is wearing a tight and short red dress that makes her boobs and legs look perfect. Her hair is hanging in messy loose curls and her red lipstick makes her lips even sexier. Tina is right, she does look like a goddess, my goddess. I smirk at that tough.

"Look I know we look good, I won't deny that because I am a cocky asshole. But girl you are beautiful to! I assure you that. I mean if Quinn wasn't my girl and if I wasn't completely in love with Rachel I would tap that." I say and get a laugh out of Tina.

"Quinn said you had too much swag for your own good but you are another level. Thanks for saying that but I just think I'm not enough for Quinn." She sighs.

"Hey stop that. Don't doubt yourself! I know Quinn. The way she looks at you, it's love. Trust me." I say.

"She did say it first." Tina smiles.

"See? Now go and get your girl. I bet that Goth ass has some moves." I laugh.

"Thank you Santana. Really! Quinn was right when she said you're the best." She says and hugs me.

"Hey no problem, you have a friend in me. But I'll kill you if you break my girl's heart." I smile.

"You don't have to worry about that, I love her more than anything." She smiles and makes her way towards Quinn.

I watch as Quinn sees Tina and pulls her in for a loving kiss. I smile and pat myself in the back for helping my friend. Then I look at my goddess and make my way to her.

The party ends and it was a blast. Everyone left and now it's time to go be with my love.

"That was fun, but I'm spent." I say as I enter the room.

I find Rachel sitting at the bed. I look at her perfect face and she is pouting.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"Baby don't get me wrong. I loved the party, thank you so much for that. But why didn't you get me a present?" She asks sadly.

I can only laugh at her drama and that makes her glare at me. I go over to my drawer and take out an envelope.

"So, I hope you like this. Actually, I hope you love this. I felt like this was the only gift that would show you how much I love you and how much I'm grateful to have you in my life. Happy birthday baby." I say as I hand her the envelope.

She eyes the envelope curiously and opens it. Her mouth falls agape and tears form at her eyes.

"These are plain tickets to New York." She whispers.

"Yep, and I've also booked us a hotel for two weeks." I smile.

"Baby I can't believe this. We are going to New York?" She asks happily.

"We are going to New York." I smile at her cute face, like a kid that got a puppy for Christmas.

"I love you so much!" She says excitedly.

"I lo…" I can't complete my words as Rachel collides our lips together.


	16. Chapter 16

Hi guys! Sorry for the wait. So i'm going to take a little longer to post the next chapters since my classes are back. I'll try to post at least once a week, so bare with me. Thanks for reading and keep those reviews coming. ;)

* * *

XVI

"Rachel are you sure this plane isn't falling?" I say as I grip my chair.

"I am baby. It's just turbulence." Rachel laughs.

"It's not funny. This is my first time flying, I'm scared." I glare.

"Sorry San, but relax nothing is wrong." Rachel smiles.

The pilot announces we are landing. I get even more nervous as the plane starts do descent.

"We're going to die." I whisper and bury my head in Rachel's neck.

"Relax San." Rachel coos and kisses my head.

We finely land and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. We get our bags and take a taxi to our hotel.

"I feel so rich right now." I say as I throw myself at the bed.

"This hotel is amazing San, are you sure you don't want to split the bill?" Rachel asks as she looks at the room.

"I'm sure. This is my gift to you babe." I say as I hug Rachel from behind.

"You're amazing. God I've missed New York." She says as she at the view from the window.

"It really is beautiful." I say as I look out.

We catch up on sleep for the rest of the day and go out at night. Rachel insists we go to a Jazz bar she loves. The place really is great and I'm feeling strangely at home in this city.

"You want another drink babe?" I ask Rachel.

"Yes please." She smiles.

I make my way to the bar and order a scotch and a Cosmo for Rachel. A woman comes up to the bar and smiles at me, I smile back politely.

"Hi." She says.

"Hi." I smile.

"I've never seen you around here before." She smirks.

I laugh, knowing where this is going. I play along trying not to be rude.

"I'm from LA." I say.

"Now your tan makes sense. I'm Anna." The blonde woman says and stretches her hand to me.

"Santana." I say as I shake her hand.

"You fuck girl's right?" She asks out of nowhere.

I had to admit her forwardness turned me on. If I were on my single days I would be all over this woman.

"I do, but I'm taken." I smile.

"I didn't ask that." She smirks.

I'm about to answer when I see familiar brown hair walking over. Rachel kisses me deeply then turns to the woman.

"Hi there." Rachel fake smiles.

"So this is the one. I was just flirting with you girl." Anna says.

I want to burry my face in the ground and never come out. Rachel looks at the woman in disbelief.

"She is and I was just telling her that I am taken." I say.

"I trust you baby. Who I don't trust is this bitch right here." Rachel says angrily as if she is about to punch the woman.

"Hey don't worry, why don't we make a threesome out of this?' The woman asks.

"Listen its better if you go." I say.

Rachel just glares at the woman.

"Whatever. Nice to meet you Santana." The blonde winks and walks away.

Rachel looks on visibly fuming.

"I'm sorry babe, she just kept insisting." I say.

"I don't know if I can deal with this. Everywhere we go women and throwing themselves at you." She sighs.

"Hey, you're the only one for me. Don't worry about the rest. I love you and only you." I say as I hold her cheeks.

"I love you." She sighs and pecks my lips.

In the next few days Rachel shows me her favorite places in NY. I'm loving this city and I can definitely see myself moving here. We are sitting in central park having some coffee.

"So babe my dad called me today, when you were in the shower." Rachel starts.

"Oh cool." I say and smile.

"They invited us to go over to their house. It's in the Hamptons, they moved from the city after the whole thing happened. So I told him we would spend the weekend there." Rachel says.

"Spend the weekend with your fathers?" I ask nervously.

"Are you nervous?" Rachel laughs.

"No way, I mean… Yes, a little." I look at the floor.

Rachel cups my face and brings my lips to meet hers.

"Baby they will love you, I promise you that." She smiles.

"I don't know… What if they hate me? I'm not exactly every parents dream." I sigh.

"I love you and they will too. I'm sure of that." Rachel says.

"Ok baby, we'll go." I smile.

"That's my girl." Rachel says and pecks my lips.

We rent a car and drive to the Hamptons. I'm feeling nervous and unsure of what will happen when her fathers see me.

"Rachel are you sure this is the best idea? I could drop you off there and come back. I get that you want to see them but I'm not sure what they will think." I ramble.

"San calm down. My parents are gay so that part is ok. They know I'm bi and that I'm with a girl, so no surprise there. Plus they really want to meet you, they asked me to take you. And I would really love if we could be a family you know?" She says.

"I don't know how to be in a family." I say sadly.

"Of course you do, you are the best sister to Puck. And you deserve a family so just let my fathers love you." She says.

I think about that and how I never really had a father figure. Maybe this will be good after all.

"Ok, I guess it will be ok." I smile.

We get to the house and it's fucking huge. It's a proper mansion. I feel even more nervous now.

"You didn't tell me you were this rich." I say in shock.

"Oh c'mon it's nothing." Rachel laughs.

"Nothing? Look at this house." I say pointing at it.

"It's just a house. C'mon lets go meet them." Rachel smiles and takes my hand.

She rings the bell and a short man opens the door. He is very well dressed and screams rich person. I think about what he will think when he sees me. I'm wearing jeans, a jumper and vans. I'm fucked.

"Daddy!" Rachel yells and hugs the man.

"Oh my baby is home." He says and hugs her tightly.

"Daddy this is Santana, San this is LeRoy." She says and smiles at me.

"So you're the girlfriend huh?" He asks with an amused smile.

"Yes sir. Nice to meet you." I say and shake his hand.

He pulls my hand and gives me a big hug that takes me by surprise. I hug him back.

"Come in girls, let me help you with the bags." He says.

"It's fine sir." I say when I enter the house with the bags.

"Wow you're strong." He laughs.

"Have you seen her arms daddy?" Rachel says.

"I have, those are some nice muscles." LeRoy says.

I eye them and smile nervously. This is definitely awkward.

"So I will let you girls settle and I'll be back later with some food for our dinner. Nice to meet you Santana, can't wait to get to know more about you." The man says happily and exits the house.

"See baby that was great." Rachel says and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Ya, besides the part where you guys talked about my arms." I laugh and hold her waist.

"Daddy has a great sense of humor." Rachel smiles.

"Good to know it was a joke." I say and peck her lips.

Rachel shows me around the house and every corner of it takes my breath away. It's beautiful and I can see every single part of it was made with love. Very different from my house back in Lima.

"When did you fathers get this house? "I ask Rachel.

"When I was a kid, this was our summer house. We lived in Manhattan and spent all the holidays here. I've always loved this house, it was my favorite place to come to." She says.

"Cool. I can see why, it's amazing." I smile.

"Come let's put our things in my room." Rachel says and pulls me.

She opens the door and the room huge. Bigger than my whole living room and kitchen back in Lima. There are stars all around the room and Broadway posters. There's a huge picture of Barbra Streisand by her mirror and I laugh at that. She clearly dreamed about being a Broadway star and I'm sure it's not too late.

"Your room is so you. It's cute." I laugh.

"Hey I'm not cute." Rachel says and slaps my arm.

"You are the cutest." I joke.

"I can be sexy too." She smiles mischievously.

"Really?" I say with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh yes." She says and pushes me in the bed.

She gets on top of me and we start to kiss. Her kisses are hot and I can feel myself getting wet. Then I remember where we are.

"Baby, you're sure you want to fuck in your childhood bedroom?" I ask.

"Yes I'm sure." She says and gets back to kissing me.

"What about your parents? Did you lock the door?" I say.

"San shut up and fuck me, forget everything else." She says and kisses me hardly.

I really forget everything when she starts to take our clothes off and I see those perfect breasts. I waste no time and take them into my mouth, Rachel moans deliciously at the contact and it fuels me on. I pull her panties down and let my fingers tease her slit. She is dripping wet.

"You're so wet for me baby." I husk out.

"Only for you San. Now fuck me!" She moans and yells at the same time.

I plunge two fingers into her pussy and start to fuck her hardly. She is moaning my name and it's the hottest thing ever. She starts to ride my fingers and throws her head back. She screams my name loudly and it sounds almost shocked. I don't think too much about it until she screams again.

"Santana stop."

"What baby, did I hurt you?" I ask and look up.

That's when I see her other father in the doorway looking at us with wide eyes and an open mouth. Great, just my luck.

"Dad I'm so sorry." Rachel says and covers herself.

"Dinner is ready." The man says and exits the room.

We stare at each other, Rachel's face is bright red. I'm so fucked.


End file.
